The Sadder but Wiser Girl for Me
by red-tenko
Summary: Part 7 up! The secret of Luke’s crush on Mara comes out in a disastrously public way, and now everyone’s making it their business. LukeMara with some HanLeia and CorranMirax for good measure
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Sadder but Wiser Girl for Me

By: redtenko

Rating: PGish

Pairings: Luke/Mara with appearances by our favorite married friends.

Summary: The secret of Luke's crush on Mara comes out in a disastrous way, and suddenly everyone's making it their business. .

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"You know, I can't help but feel a little responsible for this mess," Wedge mused, looking around the room.

Corran nodded. "I know what you mean," he said. "Guy's got three married Corellian friends to help him out. If he hasn't won the girl yet, the problem is obviously with us."

"It's not _my_ fault," groused Han from the sofa. He looked over his shoulder at the dark lump occupying the far chair by the window. "How ya doin' there, kid?"

Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, sat sunk impossibly far into the cushions, his chin molded to his collarbone. The only reply Han received was a very muffled, pitiful groan.

"See? He's fine," Han winced, turning back to the Rogues in his living room. "But this is definitely a delicate situation. Possibly dangerous, depending on how your wife's handling things on her end," he looked toward Corran, who was checking his chrono for the umpteenth time.

Wedge was about ready to slap the chrono from his wrist, Horn had him so agitated. "I'm sure Mirax will call if Jade decides to renew her vow to kill Luke," he assured the group.

Corran grunted and moved to refill his drink, nerves reacting in a way his friends usually associated with a visit from Booster Terrik.

Wedge rolled his eyes and exchanged a look with Chewbacca. "Anyway," he began, having every indication of bringing the men back to the subject at hand: Luke's disastrously public blunder with Mara Jade. As far as he was concerned, the women were in charge of calming the former Emperor's Hand, and Luke was the responsibility of his brothers in arms. "Luke's obviously got to act fast before she jumps planet," he reminded them. "But he needs some means of approaching her without getting his ass kicked straight to—"

"I'm sitting right here!" Luke moaned from his chair.

"Just trying to help, buddy," Han assured the despairing Jedi while biting back a smirk. He hadn't heard Luke whine like that in a long time. "We're on _your_ side."

"Horn's on Mara's," Luke muttered.

The other men turned their gaze back to Corran, who was again checking his chrono. The Force strong pilot looked up when he felt eyes on him, and glared back defiantly. "Okay, first of all: there aren't really any sides; we all agree Luke messed up," he said, pausing to sip his brandy. "Secondly, yeah, I feel for Mara more in this. She's emotionally confused enough, now the poor woman probably doesn't know what to think. What with the way he blindsided her and all."

"Well, hopefully Mirax is keeping her calm," Tycho offered. He'd been sitting peaceably, trying to mind his own business as much as he could without being rude.

"Drinking with Mirax is not calming," Corran retorted, checking his chrono once again.

"Stop that," Wedge growled. "Tycho's right. The women get along. They'll have their 'girl talk'; it'll be a good thing. Mara can rant, blow off her steam ahead of time and Luke can move in when she's calmed down."

"Again, I'm still here," Luke called from the cushions. He was getting pretty sick of hearing about himself.

"Luke, I wasn't talking about you and Mara," Han raised his palms, trying to clarify. "I mean, I _was_—but I was just saying we're on your side when it comes to Lando. He's my friend and all, but him and Mara? I just don't see it."

Luke's fingers, which had been futilely rubbing his temples, moved to pinch the bridge of his nose as he grimaced. "I don't want to fight with Lando," he groaned miserably, the stress of the evening visible in his features. "I wonder how many more friendships I can ruin tonight. Maybe I'll go call the academy and insult Streen's mother."

"Don't worry about Lando," Han eased, again fighting to hold his amusement from the now downright snippy Jedi. "I fought with him over plenty of women—no hard feelings in the end. I'm sure he's more surprised than mad. Never occurred to him he'd be competing with you."

Luke gave a miserable moan and actually managed to sink further into the chair, his head now close to the seat cushion. "I…it's not a contest!" he exclaimed, purely exhausted with the room. "It's not like Lando and I are the only options Mara has. It's probably going to be _neither_ of us."

The men were all silent for a moment, save Chewie's sympathetic rumbling. This thought hadn't occurred to anyone else until Luke voiced it.

"Well you certainly won't win her over with that attitude," Wedge pointed out.

Corran agreed, and opened his mouth to remind Luke how much Mara hated his moping, but decided now was not the time. Again he checked his chrono, wishing Mirax would call and tell them just what _would_ win Mara over, or if there was any hope at all.

"I am going to take that from you, I swear," Wedge threatened, eyeing the timepiece with irritation. His friend's abnormally anxious attitude was _not_ what the room needed right now.

Corran glared at his commanding officer, as unwilling to calm down as he was unable. His worries about what trouble Mara and Mirax were causing together had mixed with the sadness and humiliation leaking through Luke's Force barriers. Feeling over sensitized, he took another aggressive sip of his drink.

"Come on, Kid," Han urged, his voice calling the others back to attention. "He's right, about your attitude—you're over thinking all this."

"I'm over thinking?" Luke echoed flatly.

"You are! This is not the attitude that got your sister out of the Death Star," the former smuggler reminded him. His gut told him he'd hooked onto a good analogy, and he went with it. "If you'd given up the rescue idea before you even started, none of us would be here today."

There was a thoughtful pause, then, "If you recall, my impulsiveness got us walled into the detention block by squads of storm troopers," Luke said. He was determined not to be cheered up. "Leia had to save us with her garbage-shoot idea."

Han's nose involuntarily cringed at the memory, and Chewie laughed.

"Then some creature tried to choke me, and we nearly got flattened when Threepio turned off the comlink," Luke listed. "Over-thinking is sounding pretty good from here. I think I've been impulsive enough for a lifetime—if I didn't prove it back then I certainly did tonight."

Corran glared over the rim of his now empty glass. "I think what tonight proves is you shouldn't bottle up your emotions."

"There is no emotion, there—" The entire room, including Tycho, groaned loudly with enough exasperation to drown out the rest of the Jedi code. Luke's shoulders hunched peevishly at the interruption. He grabbed the arms of the chair and at last pushed himself upright.

"Come on, Luke," entreated Wedge. "The Force can't possibly have a problem with people being happy. Seems to me happy people function better, and what's the Force gonna do with Jedi who don't function right?"

"What? That doesn't make—I function!" Luke felt a surge of indignance, but wasn't sure where to aim it.

Han sighed. "I think…I _think_ what Wedge is trying to say is that people who don't feel the Force have just as many problems, and you're just using that Jedi code as an excuse not to deal with your own troubles like anyone else would."

"Exactly!" Wedge gave the back of the couch a hearty slap. "Now, about Jade. Maybe I can get a block on the _Fire_'s clearance and—"

"Oooh no," Corran shook his head. "You mess with Mara Jade's ship, or even her ship's clearance codes…I'd sooner kiss Booster's feet than be near you when she finds out."

"But what if we—"

Luke stood up quickly. "Listen, I think I'm just gonna head home," he announced, calling his wrinkled cloak to his hand and pulling it on.

"Luke—" Han began, but stopped, recognizing the man's unfortunate mood. His bother-in-law's shoulders were slumped in a combination of forced calm and premature defeat.

"Thanks for trying to help, but what I really need is some meditation…or some sleep," the Jedi continued, heading for the door. "Could you tell Leia I'll call her tomorrow?"

"Sure, kid, but…"

"Thanks," Luke mumbled. "See you later." And with that, he slipped through the door before anyone could think of a useful reply.

The foyer doors slid shut, and the last thing Luke Skywalker heard before stepping into the hallway was the loud buzz of the apartment's comm station, followed by the even louder "FINALLY!" from Corran Horn.

To be continued in part 2


	2. Chapter 2

I was gonna wait maybe a week or so to post the next part, but seeing as parts 1&2 really work best together, I suppose I'll just post this part right away

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Part 2

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Luke breathed a sigh of relief as the turbolift began to move. Privacy at last. And quiet. Later, he knew, he'd need a distraction from this hole he'd dug himself into. _Then_ maybe he'd return to his friends.

Everyone had already made it clear they weren't going to let him burry himself in his work again, as he usually did after women troubles…or, after any kind of trouble for that matter. Leia certainly wasn't going to let him leave Coruscant quietly anyway—she probably had a line of ideas to cheer him up with, and Luke could only hope she'd at least wait until tomorrow to try them.

Right now, he needed to be alone. He needed to think…or, not to think. That would probably be best.

'_There is no emotion, there is peace,'_ he recited to himself, stepping out of the lift as it opened on his floor. But there wasn't peace, not within Luke Skywalker. And as for emotions…they were too numerous, too churning to find names for.

A series of beeps and warbles greeted Luke as soon as he entered his apartment. "Hi, Artoo," he said, and the droid detached itself from the charging alcove.

Artoo knew his master's body language, and his sensors told him tonight had not been a good one by human standards.

Luke managed a smile at the droid's sudden, worried twitters. "I'm fine," he assured his friend. "But could you make sure my calls are held until morning? I'm going to try and meditate."

Artoo's responding noise sounded a little sarcastic.

"Yes, I know how late it is," Luke said, although he didn't. Unlike a certain other Jedi, Luke had not been checking his chrono every five seconds. He checked it now, and was surprised to see it was just after midnight. Only four hours since he'd left the party. Four of the longest hours since his near-death trek through the ice planes of Hoth.

"I'm just not ready for bed yet, all right?"

With an electric snort of acquiescence, Artoo rolled over to the comm station and plugged in.

"Thanks," Luke said, and headed to his bedroom. Once there, he shed his cloak and sat down cross-legged on the carpet beside his bed, facing the window.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, he lifted his eyes to look out at Coruscant's nighttime view. The city-planet was always awake. Dots of light from speeder headlights rushed by in row on top of row, and hologram advertisements churned colors across the well-lit buildings for miles. Further off were the mountains, signs of life on them not visible from this distance. In the seclusion of his quarters, Luke allowed the contrasting sensations of vibrant activity and calm silence to meld and wash over him.

Finally, he felt himself begin to calm. Slowly…very slowly, his emotions detangled, his thoughts unknotted. He felt the Force around him, his awareness of it increasing as the more tremulous thoughts stilled, moving into a sturdier place within his mind. Ordinarily this would be the time to reach out to the Force, to sink onto the presence of life and light around him, becoming one with the pattern of it. That was how a Jedi meditated, but now that he was calm, Luke made no move to immerse himself.

Instead, he leaned back against the bed, taking advantage of this moment of peace. Finally he felt ready to look back upon the evening in its entirety.

…There'd been a party.

A Baron had thrown it for one of the more second-class holidays, only celebrated on planets that thrived on excuses to get dressed up. Blessedly, nothing too fancy was required for this rented ballroom at the base of the old Imperial Palace.

All the popular senators had been invited, (as well as some unpopular ones representing planets with a good economy) so Leia had to go, and that meant Han had to go too. But the lack of dress uniforms and the promise of Rogue Squadron's presence had actually managed to get the ex-smuggler, and even the Jedi Master, to the gathering without a fight.

Luke had come from the Academy the day before to see his family. The past few months he'd been feeling more and more agitated, more restless. A couple times he'd hopped into his X-wing or an Academy vessel, and circled the Yavin system on the pretence of maintenance checks, but really just wanting to fly. He knew a Jedi was not supposed to crave excitement or adventure (even if it tended to come with the job), but Luke was starting wish the Force would call him into action. Any action. Surely there was someone on some planet he could assist, or a mission the New Republic could use him for. But the galaxy had been quiet lately.

And then it occurred to him—finally, like an obvious ton of rocks—that as long as things were so quiet, now was the perfect time for a vacation. It would be a chance to see his family without some emotional turmoil distracting them, a chance to see his pilot friends without a battle looming over their heads. And maybe he'd get to visit with his other friends too, if they were nearby. Lando might be around, and even Mara…

Sitting in his dark room, Luke's mental replay came to a screeching halt as he realized just how much he had hoped to see Mara Jade on this trip.

'_I should be careful what I wish for,'_ he chastised himself with a sardonic chuckle. But he'd wanted to see her. Had wanted it very much…just how much had come as a surprise to everyone.

Luke had been thinking about her for a while. Whenever he had the time to let his thoughts drift, he would wonder what his family was up to, then his friends—which would lead him down a line of war buddies and comrades and eventually his mind's eye would land on Mara. And it would stay on her.

He wondered if she was practicing her levitation exercises, or if she'd finally broken down and given meditation a try. He wondered how her job was going. He worried about the way she overworked herself worse than Leia. He wondered if she would ever come back to the Academy—perhaps he should call Karrde and ask him to give her some time off? But no, Mara would hate him butting in.

He wondered why she hadn't tried to complete her training, but more than that, he wondered why he hadn't asked her about it. Luke realized he was afraid of how honest her answer would be. Mara didn't lie, not to him. He'd always loved that about her.

Loved…

Maybe it was back then, that moment weeks and weeks ago when Luke had flown around Yavin's sun and thought about her… Maybe that was when he realized he loved her, at least subconsciously. At the time, he'd thought it was merely love of an attribute. Her honesty...the best of her many wonderful traits. Other people could be truthful, but not with the scathing and humorous irreverence so unique to Mara.

'_I should have seen this coming,' _Luke realized. His love for the fiery trader had been building long before his unnoticed epiphany. Corran was right; perhaps he _did _bottle up his emotions. If he hadn't kept his feelings so confined, maybe things with Mara could have progressed more naturally, rather than exploding the way they had.

But he hadn't expected her to be at the party.

He'd entered the ball room and immediately found the X-wing pilots at the bar. He spent the first half of the evening catching up with Wedge and the rest, laughing and even drinking a little. Finally, that restless feeling stilled, if only for a moment.

The party was in full swing, and he looked around the ballroom very pleased with the atmosphere. Han was twirling Leia around the dance floor in a very informal set she only pretended to dislike. Wedge and Luke applauded the "argument" from their barstools.

"Come on, Your Highnessness, didn't they teach you dancing in princess school?"

"Han, this is not dancing, it's spinning."

"I'm positive this is the dance you made me learn last Freedom Day," Han winked down at his partner, and twirled her yet again. "Because I was paying attention to that. I really was."

Leia could not fight her laughter, "Come on—dance normally—I'm dizzy."

"A Jedi knows no nausea," Han taunted playfully, dipping her and flashing a grin at his brother-in-law. "Right, Luke?"

"Hey, leave me out of this," Luke lifted his glass to them. "You know I can't dance."

Next to him, Wedge chuckled and took a large sip of his own drink. "You should learn a few steps," he advised. "The women, they love it for some reason."

"Oh you bet," Corran Horn chimed in. Then something caught his attention, and he shouted to the group in warning: "Incoming wives!"

One after another, the spouses came to collect their partners, pulling them to the dance floor by the hand (or in one case, the ear). Luke found himself left with Wes and Hobbie, confirmed bachelors who'd started a drinking contest with the remainder of Wraith Squadron.

It was bittersweet, watching the happy couples glide and crash around the ballroom, not being a part of it. Inspired by Solo, some of the men had made childish partners of themselves, disrupting those dancing normally. They were having a hell of a time with it too, and the combined cheer glowed through the Force, blending wistfully with Luke's loneliness.

"Your sister's right, Skywalker," rang a familiar voice, suddenly next to him. "That is _not_ dancing."

Luke chuckled, his mood instantly lighter. "Well, we can't all be professionals like you, Mara," he pointed out.

Mara Jade favored him with a conspiratorial smirk, then waved to the alien bartender and ordered something in a language Luke didn't know. "I thought I sensed you on planet," she said, turning back to him. "What kind of trouble brings the mighty Jedi Master to the Core?"

"Vacation," replied Luke, and eyed her reaction.

"Sound the alarm," she murmured, not missing a beat. The bartender placed a fruity smelling drink in front of her and she took a sip. "I don't like it when you go on vacation. It's usually followed by me saving your sorry butt from certain doom."

"It's not always 'doom'," Luke pointed out. "Be fair."

"Mutilation then. I'm surprised you don't permanently smell of bacta by now."

Luke wrinkled his nose, now wondering if that could really happen. Shaking his head at the thought, he looked out at the dance floor and decided to bring the subject back to it. "You come for the dancing?" he asked.

She gave a low laugh. "Hardly. Baron Ye'Wavon's one of Karrde's more wealthy clients," Mara explained. "Karrde had a meeting, but somebody from the organization had to make an appearance so I volunteered."

"You volunteered?" Luke blinked, somehow surprised.

Mara picked up on the emption and her eyes narrowed, annoyed with him now. "Sure I did," she snapped. "I _do_ know how to relax, Skywalker."

"I never said you didn't," Luke protested. "Personally, I like relaxing. I always make time for it once or twice a year." He'd hoped the quip would ease her mood, and he was rewarded with an almost inaudible chuckle she let out with a breath.

"Well, it looks as though you picked a good night," Mara said, her eyes roaming the ballroom appreciatively. Luke didn't know most of the guests beyond the pilots and a few senators, but she probably did. There were plenty of—to use Leia's word—_scoundrels _about, human and alien, and he expected they were traders and smugglers from their host's circle. They were probably the reason for the relaxed dress code and the casual atmosphere; he expected Baron Ye'Wavon wanted _all_ his connections to be comfortable.

Looking back at Mara, he caught the way her eyes restlessly streamed the room. She was probably looking for someone else to talk to, maybe another trader she'd have more in common with. His mood soured considerably, and Luke found himself scrambling for ideas to keep her near. "Want to dance?" he heard himself ask.

Red-gold eyebrows arched, apparently amused with the idea. "You can't dance, remember?"

"No," Luke agreed. "But like you said, that's not really dancing." He gestured toward the floor where their friends were swinging without organization. Hobbie and Wes, barely sober enough to stand by now, alternated between dancing with the women they'd found and with each other, not seeming to notice any difference.

Mara laughed at the display, but seemed wary of joining in. "I don't know, Skywalker," she excused. "It might hurt my reputation as a 'professional'."

"Now I'm sure that's impossible," a deeper voice replied. Luke and Mara looked back to see Lando Calrissian step up to the bar. He'd just arrived, fashionably late as always.

"You don't even know what we're talking about," Mara pointed out with a smirk.

"I don't have to," Lando countered with one of his broad smiles. He grabbed her hand and kissed the knuckles in a notoriously gallant greeting. "I know that Mara Jade is always a professional no matter what she does," he said. "And she is always lovely."

Luke had to agree. Mara was more than proficient at any task took on, and as for lovely… Well, nobody could fault him for liking her appearance. He wasn't a superficial man, but he did have _eyes._

"Yes, yes," Mara freed her hand and occupied it with her glass. "Can't you say 'hello' like a normal person?"

"Sure can," he returned, and looked past her with a wide grin. "Hello, Luke!"

"Hi Lando," Luke smiled. "I didn't know you were on Coruscant."

It had been awhile since he'd seen his old friend, and he remembered how he'd hoped they'd both be on planet at the same time. But for some reason he wasn't thinking about catching up. For some reason Luke was thinking about Jabba's palace all those years ago, and how Lando had seen Mara dance while he only got to hear about it.

"What can I say?" Lando shrugged, still grinning. "You can't run any kind of lucrative business without stopping by the Capital Planet a few times a year. I try to time my trips for the best get-togethers," he looked toward Mara again, "you know—increase my chances favorable company."

Mara rolled her eyes. "You boys can keep each other company," she said, setting her unfinished drink on the counter. "I need something to eat." With that, she headed towards the table of catered hors d'oeuvres, both men watching her leave.

Lando laughed good naturedly, shaking his head. "Some day I'll figure her out," he promised. "Haven't gotten through that armor yet, but I think I've found some cracks. Anyway-- Luke, I didn't expect to see you here, how've you been doing?"

"Me?" Luke blinked, bringing his eyes back from where Mara had disappeared. "I'm well. I flew in yesterday, kind of overdue for a visit."

Lando nodded. "I'm sure that's the truth," he said. He found Mara's abandoned beverage, but after a sip and a grimace, set it down. "The Solo kids like me, but I'm no substitute for their real uncle."

"They have grown a lot since I last saw them," Luke nodded solemnly. "I plan to stay on Coruscant for a few weeks, try and spend more quality time with them."

"Great! And you should have plenty of time to hit the town with Han, Chewie and me while you're here," he gave Luke a friendly slap on the arm. "But right now, I've got to thank our gracious host before he picks a different mine to buy his ore from."

Luke watched him move through the crowd towards a well dressed human standing in a group of Rodians. He knew he probably should have gone with Lando; he hadn't yet thanked Ye'Wavon for extending Leia's invitation to include him. Instead, he found himself heading for the buffet tables, hungry for conversation with his red-headed friend.

He didn't notice the crowd on the dance floor was thinner. His family and friends had worked up an appetite, and weren't far behind him in his trek towards the food.

Luke spotted Mara immediately, her loose braid of red-gold hair standing out almost as much as her shining Force presence did. She was sampling some toothpicked purple shrimp from New Alderaan as he sidled next to her.

"Lando's got his eye on you, you know," he said, and immediately wondered why he'd opened with that.

Mara blinked, surprised to see him first, then surprised at his greeting. "I know," she replied. "He's not subtle about it."

"So, what do you think about him?" Luke asked. Again, as soon as the words came out he questioned his own sanity. Why was he asking about this? It was none of his business. Well, mostly not his business. They were both his friends, after all.

"What do you mean 'what do I think'?" Mara glared, fuming openly. "How is that your business—what, are you his wingman now?"

Luke's suddenly rattled brain worked to translate the piloting phrase into dating terminology.

"Did he send you over to ask me that?"

"No!" Luke found his voice. "I was just concerned, that's all."

"Concerned?" Mara squinted at him. Her growing confusion was palpable in the Force, and Luke knew that Mara Jade did _not_ like to be confused. This could easily get worse, and quickly.

"Curious," Luke amended. "I was curious. I mean, if you two were to start dating, I'd want to know is all…" _'That's right, Skywalker, keep digging your own grave'._

Eyeing him dubiously, Mara grabbed a last shrimp and stepped away from the tables, determined to move the conversation. Looking back on it Luke realized that unlike him, she had noticed the growing crowd of familiar faces: Han, Leia, most of Rogue Squadron and their wives…the whole lot of them pretending they weren't listening.

"What in blazes are you so interested for?" she snarled as she walked a few paces.

Luke opened his mouth to reply that he was interested in all his friend's lives, but he couldn't say it. She would sense his fixation on this particular situation right away. She already had.

Suddenly, Mara gave a heavy sigh, and her face softened slightly. "Poor Skywalker," she shook her head at the way his jaw was moving without sound. "You've got your foot in your mouth again, why don't we just change the subject."

He knew what she was pulling right away. His sporadic dive for information on her social life had set her off balance, and she didn't like it. Mara had attempted a joke, then dangled a way out of the conversation in front of his nose, hoping he'd take it. But while she tried to make the mood light, Luke could sense the bewilderment quilting her mind when it reached in his direction. He couldn't do it. As smart as it would have been to just take her offer, he simply could not leave the conversation without making his thoughts perfectly clear.

"I'm concerned he couldn't keep up with you, not all of you," Luke explained in a rush. If his attention had been more on the Force than his out-of-control mouth, he might have sensed his friend's inching closer to the two of them. He barreled on:

"You and Lando have your business sense in common, but you're not just a trader. You aren't in business just for yourself; you're loyal to Karrde, selfless in a lot of ways. Not to mention you're Force sensitive, and I'm not sure how much he understands what that means."

The others weren't even pretending not to listen anymore. Luke finally caught on as he spotted Leia and Han whispering in his peripheral vision. Still, he didn't stop.

"You already know I'd like you to be a Jedi, but that's because I think it's your path. I might be wrong. I don't feel like I'm wrong, but okay, I might be."

He knew he wasn't.

"I just think you should be with someone who can appreciate where your life may be headed. Who is able to share that, or understand it at least."

"It sounds as if _you_ want to date me, Skywalker," Mara smirked weakly, taking a bite of purple shrimp just as Luke blurted "I do!"

Luke's eyes had nearly popped out as he realized what he had said. What he'd said _out loud _no less, and in front of everyone.

But it wasn't just what he'd said—that was one thing, however the emotion behind it brought this all-too-public display to another level. Because in that moment, his shields had been down, his heart broadcasting loudly. He'd spoken his feelings at the moment he felt them. And it had been at that moment when Luke realized (along with every other Force sensitive in the room) that he loved Mara.

He was in love with her…and the feelings weren't sudden. They weren't new—they were solid, grounded, and very much _there_.

And she knew.

In the few, horrifyingly long seconds of shocked silence that followed, Luke was vaguely aware of dropped jaws. He was _very_ aware of the surprise that radiated from his audience, flowing strong from some and little from others. It flowed strongest from Mara herself, drowning out any other reaction he could have sensed. He had to wait for her to react, but the pause stretched on from one eternal microsecond to the next. She stared at him, eyes wide, nothing but astonishment on her face.

Suddenly someone broke the silence in the least of expected ways.

"Did you just swallow that toothpick?" Mirax Horn gaped.

Mara jolted at the sudden noise, every part of her body stiff. "Ah…what?" she managed, seeming to only have a hazy awareness of her surroundings. The silence began filling with murmurs of concern.

"The toothpick that shrimp was on," Mirax said, taking a step forward.

Mara blinked rapidly, finally moving her eyes off Luke (who hadn't come up with anything to say) and stared dumbly at her now empty hands. "I…I don't…"

"I'm pretty sure you did, Mara," Winter Celchu said from the periphery of the loose circle that had formed. Mara stared at her with slow comprehension. She knew that with Winter's perfect memory, there were no 'pretty sure's, just facts.

"I…" Mara tried again, clearly frustrated. She'd never been at a loss for words before.

Mirax, unable watch a moment longer, bolted forward and grabbed Mara's arm. "That wood was laminated. You gotta go to the medcenter, come on," she said, quickly steering the stunned trader towards the door. As they left, Mirax looked over her shoulder and pinned her husband with a glare that plainly said: "Fix this".

Iella Antilles more than agreed with her friend's tactic. She sent Wedge a matching look. "I'm coming too," she called, and rushed after them, reaching Mara's other arm just before the three disappeared from the ballroom.

Luke knew he should run after her—right away, before her head caught up with her limbs and she began punching. Unfortunately his own limbs had frozen…

…In the quiet of his bedroom, Luke roused himself from the memory, afraid of the emotional weight that was settling down once again. Whatever sense of calm he'd managed to achieve not long ago was gone. Blasted away by fresh worry.

He'd really done it this time. Putting her on the spot like that, dragging her personal life into the public after she'd fought so hard for the privacy to just live as she wanted… The others were right, she'd probably blast off planet as soon as she got the chance if she hadn't all ready. And when they met again—in months, years even—then what? Things wouldn't be the same between them.

After all these years of working, building such a unique friendship so important to him… Luke's heart clenched. He might loose her.

Drawing in a deep breath, Luke let it out harshly, determination forming. He had to do something—what? he had no idea.

Reaching out, Luke dove head first into the pattern of the Force. He completed the circuit this time, willing the calm to return as he fell completely into a trance. He could only hope the Force would show him how to reach her and fix this mess he'd made.

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To be continued in Part 3


	3. Chapter 3

sorry this took so long, was giving me trouble uplading documents. here we go!

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Part 3

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It was not Mirax on the comm.

Leia had glided into the room to answer the call before Han had even risen from his seat. She sat down at the station, and he grinned at her over-prim posture. She hadn't liked being ushered away from her brother, and had waited for the moment she could reenter the living room with little patience. Han moved to stand behind her at the desk, and an even less patient Corran flanked her on the other side.

But it was not Mirax Horn on the comm. It was Talon Karrde.

"Hey, Karrde!" Han greeted the screen with one of his knowing grins. "Was wondering when we'd hear from you."

Leia was about to give a more polite greeting when she noticed Karrde's agitated state. Visibly, he was as composed as usual, but there was something in his eyes that it didn't take the Force to notice. And the man did not rattle easily. "Has something happened?" she asked.

"I'm sorry to call you so late, however…" Karrde began with his usual courtesy. But then he noticed Corran over Leia's shoulder and something apparently snapped. "Horn—what in the blazes has your wife done to my second in command!?"

All eyes suddenly on him, Corran flinched, grimaced, and finally settled on a look of resignation. "I would very much like to know," he sighed.

Karrde's pale eyes glared zenji needles through the display. "I come into my office and I find Mara, on my couch—_muttering to herself_—and when I ask her what the matter is, she starts shouting that all men in the galaxy can go straight to Kessel!" he barked, looking as though he could not believe his own story. "And Mirax is sitting behind my desk so drunk I almost feel like I should call her father."

Corran slapped his palm against his face and groaned. "You didn't…"

"Of course not," Karrde rolled his eyes impatiently. "But I've never seen her like this, she's practically incoherent!"

"Mirax?"

"No, Mara!" Karrde growled, then with rough breath seemed to regain his bearings. "And my vornskrs look like they're dizzy—I can't even guess what they're getting off her in the Force."

"She's _still _out of commission?" Han was surprised…not to mention a little impressed with Luke. Han didn't have any more Force sense than Talon Karrde, but Leia had explained what the Jedi Master "broadcasted"back at the partyIt had to have packed quite an emotional wallop to keep the fiery former assassin stunned so long.

Meanwhile, Leia was more concerned with Mara's reported outburst. "Is she very angry with Luke?"

At once, some of the aggressiveness melted off the Master Trader as his curiosity took the lead. "So it _does _have something to do with Skywalker," he said, fingers at his beard, voice returning to an even timber. "I figured as much. The man certainly knows how to get under her skin."

"Yes," Leia sighed, surprised as the rest that he hadn't known, but not surprised he'd suspected. "Luke told her…It's a long story—is she angry with him?"

Karrde shook his head, but in confusion rather than negativity. He leaned back heavily in his chair, composure eroding again. "I have no idea how to describe her," he said, and Han was almost positive he could hear a very muffled "I'm sitting right here" in the background.

"She was better for a while!" a female voice insisted from outside the comm's visual range, and suddenly Mirax popped into view. Her eyes were focused, although a little dilated, and her cheeks were flushed. Other than that, she didn't look very drunk. Karrde had apparently been unnerved enough to exaggerate, something he normally never did.

"I had her talking and lightening up a bit," Mirax said, hands fluttering a little. "But then she started _thinking_, and she wouldn't stop and worked herself into kind of a state…"

"Mirax!" Corran breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his wife. "What did you two do after you left the medcenter?"

The woman on the other end of the comm shrugged her slim shoulders. "I took her to that bar I like in the Ambassador Hotel—Iella told you, right?"

Corran looked back at the sitting area. Iella and Winter had joined their husbands in the living room, listening to the conversation with the occasional, gossiping whisper.

"She said you were going out for a drink," he explained, "But I was worried you'd end up in the lower levels, starting some bar fight."

"Oh?" his wife cocked a thin eyebrow, her eyes glittering. "Maybe we should have; exercise sounds pretty refreshing right now."

"Please don't. The two of you would show no mercy, and then in come the lawsuits…" Corran trailed off as it occurred to him where she was. "How did you end up in Karrde's office?"

"Excellent question," Karrde huffed.

Something between a muffled shriek and a pained moan reverberated from off screen, and Mirax looked sideways, sucking in her lower lip. "There were, ah… a couple reporters from the gossip nets hovering round the _Jade's Fire_ when I tried to get Mara home," she explained. "But the _Wild Karrde_ was in the next hanger so we slipped by before they saw us."

"Reporters? Already?" Leia set her face in her hands, a headache forming in too many points to rub away. "Like they don't hound poor Luke enough."

"At least Skywalker's apartment is under the highest security clearance," Karrde pointed out. "A press pass gets them into the semi-private docking bays I have to use."

Leia nodded quickly, knowing where this would snowball if nothing was done. "Wedge," she called. The Rogue Leader stood up straight at her tone, the one she used back in the Rebellion and now in the Senate. "Call NR Security and give them any excuse you can think of to raise the clearance on those docking bays," she ordered. "I don't care if you have to claim an outbreak of Bothan Fever and quarantine the place, I don't want to see a single holocam."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Wedge nearly saluted, happy to have something helpful to do. Iella rushed to grab their coats. "It'll take a couple hours to pull those strings," he pointed out. "Reporters might figure out Mara's gone to the _Karrde_."

"Mara'll stay with us then," Corran said, pulling on the jacket Iella handed him. "If they haven't seen her with Mirax then they won't figure it out."

Karrde nodded in agreement. "I'll have no comment on the matter as far as the press is concerned," he said. "But I'd like to hear the whole story when you get here, Horn." It wasn't a request.

"See you soon," Mirax smirked, and cut the connection with a little wave.

With a quick goodbye, Corran bounded out the door to pick up the ladies. Soon, Winter and Tycho were gone as well, and Chewbacca off to the _Falcon_. The Solo children (along with Valin Horn and a few of the other party guests' kids) were attending a slumber party in another wing of the Palace, leaving their parents with an apartment all to themselves.

"What a night," Han laughed tiredly, flopping into the chair Luke had claimed earlier.

"I'm more worried about the morning," Leia sighed, and was quickly pulled into her husband's lap. She managed to lax her muscles a little as Han's fingers began idly unwinding her braids, but even as her body calmed, her mind would not. Her brother's future might be at stake. "Mara's fuse is short enough right now without the press making this worse—if she runs..."

"Karrde'll keep the rancors off Mara," Han soothed, patting her knee as she tucked it aside his hip. He chuckled, the image of the smuggler nearly biting off Corran's head through the comm still fresh. "Speaking of Karrde—you ever see him so wound up?" He laughed. "That was something."

Leia grinned knowingly against his chest. "You see how funny it is in a few years when Jaina starts having boy problems," she warned, looking up at him. The grin split into a laugh at the bug-eyed expression on Han's face.

"No way in hell…" he muttered, teetering off the empty threat for lack of a suitor to aim it at. "But what about Anakin? He acts enough like Luke as it is, we probably shouldn't tell him what his uncle went and did." Leia smothered her giggles in his shirt as she shook with mirth. They'd had such a stressful few hours, and tense as she was it felt wonderful to laugh.

But eventually she settled, coming back down to the planet and the people on her mind. "Oh, Han…" Leia let out a long sigh. Her headache was back, right between the eyes. "What are we going to do about Luke?"

"Luke? We've done all we can for the kid," Han replied, squeezing her shoulders. "He knows we're behind him, but we can't actually go and seduce Mara Jade in his place."

"Han!"

"Not that I wouldn't like watching you try--OW!" Han winked down at his wife, grabbing the small hand swatting his chest. "Relax, Princess. It's not your fight. Those two have to handle things by themselves…if they can manage to shake the rest of the galaxy long enough to talk. Who knows, maybe if they'd had enough alone time in the first place, this would've been settled years ago."

"Mm…" Leia tried to share his optimism, but it was hard. She slumped against her husband, suddenly feeling helpless. It was a rare feeling she hated like nothing else, especially when it concerned her brother. Normally the danger Luke found was physical, and she could always hop into a ship and help him--bring him back alive. But once more his heart was in danger, and ultimately…there was nothing Leia could do. It hurt.

Suddenly she felt herself being lifted, then plopped back into the warm cushions of the chair as Han rose from his seat.

"Where are you going?"

"Who, me?" Han put on his innocent face. The one that never fooled her. "I'm gonna do some damage control."

His wife's eyebrows rose high in confusion. "Damage control? Don't tell me _you're_ going to talk to the press?"

"Yeah, right," Han flashed her a grin, then pulled on his jacket and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked again, more insistent this time.

"Lando's," he answered. As an afterthought, Han backtracked to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Correlian whiskey. "I'm gonna get him on Luke's side in all this."

"Good idea." Leia breathed a sigh of relief. At least the Lando issue might soon be settled. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Everyone had something to do but her.

Turning her eyes towards the window, she reached out with her mind, intent on sending what feelings of comfort she could. Luke's presence was so intensely blended with the Force, despite their bond Leia could barely make him out over the roar and light from the planet's combined lives. He was evidently deep in meditation. Sighing regretfully, she pulled her mind away so as not to disturb the peace her brother needed so badly.

Quelling her frustration, Leia reached out again, this time with the image of the _Wild Karrde_ in her mind. Searching the ebb and flow of the Force, she caught on to two especially bright signatures. The first was Corran, on his way to the large ship. She could tell it was him by the rushed focus and the agitated worry that had coated him for the latter half of the evening. The second presence was much more difficult for Leia to sense, but she could easily tell it was Mara. The magnitude of her shields was clue enough; the woman felt like a rock the river of freer emotion could only crash against.

Whatever Mara was feeling, it was intense. But also shadowed. The former Emperor's Hand's mental shielding was second only to Luke's, so while Leia could feel the vortex of emotional pressure against great walls…what those walls contained remained invisible.

------

Just as Han hit the door release, he heard his wife murmur, "She breaks his heart, I'll break her ship," and he barely made it out to the hall before doubling over in laughter. Once more, Leia had done something to remind him he'd married a Hutt strangler.

Leia was handling the sudden dramatics admirably well, Han thought as he made his way to the turbolifts. She'd been a live wire when they left the party, but battle hardened as she was, Leia quickly cooled in the pressured atmosphere.

Han couldn't tell what she'd been feeling through the Force when Luke's heart ran off with his mouth back in the ballroom. He remembered how she'd looked amused at first, smirking at the directness Luke used with Mara that few dared to emulate. But slowly the amusement faded as her brother's speech rose in intensity. Her eyes took on a faraway look, and Han knew she wasn't just watching and listening, but _feeling _the conversation as well.

"This is big, Han," she whispered as if warning him to brace himself. They both inched foreword to hear better, and he noticed more of their friends doing the same.

Han looked at Mara, shrimp stalled half way to her mouth, standing against a torrent of words—Jedi themed implorations she probably didn't want to hear, combined with insinuations about her and Lando… _Bad road, kiddo._ "Yeah, this'll probably be a big fight," he agreed.

"No…" Her head shook against his shoulder; she was rigid with anticipation under his arm. "It's Luke. He's projecting so much, it almost feels like…" she trailed off, but Han was too involved with the show to ask for the end of the sentence.

And then everything came to a head with: "It sounds as if _you _want to date me, Skywalker." Followed by: "I do!"

Han's jaw had dropped—stang! the kid had guts. Stupid guts, but commendable as well. He lowered his gaze to see his wife's reaction, and found her stiff as carbonite, hand covering her open mouth.

The next few minutes were a blur.

As soon as Mirax and Iella had rushed Mara from the ballroom, Wedge immediately orchestrated Luke's own escape. The poor Jedi was just as paralyzed as the woman he'd surprised, allowing his friends to lead him through a fire door to a service lift. Right until the metal doors closed, Luke kept looking back over his shoulder to the spot he'd been standing in. It was as though he thought he'd left his body behind.

Leia was silent under Han's arm the whole ride upstairs, her eyes darting from Luke to the lift doors. He could tell his wife was eager to say something, but she hadn't allowed herself to let loose all her pent up thoughts just yet. Instead, she reached out to tightly grasp her brother's limp hand.

The lift ride was quiet. Tycho watched Winter, knowing she was replaying the events in her mind. Wedge and Corran exchanged looks, not quite knowing if they should pat Luke's shoulder in sympathy or congratulations for provoking such a reaction from Mara Jade. They both looked back at Han, as if expecting something from him, but he could only shrug.

Luke, for his part, looked shell-shocked…and this was a description Han based on years of war experience. The guy had gone from running round a farm to running round a Death Star faster than Chewie could rip off arms, taking everything in stride—but _now _he was shell-shocked.

Well, women could do that to you.

Not that women had such effects on Lando Calrissian, the intended target of Han Solo's good will. It didn't take long to reach the luxurious guest apartment—something a hero of Endor could count on when he visited the Capital. Within fifteen minutes of leaving his own place, Han was at his old friend's door.

"Hey buddy," he greeted when Lando answered the door chime. "How's it going?"

The other man grinned suspiciously, but no more so then any of the other times Han was obviously up to something. "Funny you should ask," Lando replied smoothly. "Because I have comm full of messages from all kinds of Holonet reporters, and _they _want to know how I'm doing too."

"Is that so?" Han theatrically feigned shock. "Do tell." He lifted his offering of whiskey to eye level. Laughing, Lando stepped aside to let Han in the apartment.

-----

Within the impromptu sanctuary of Talon Karrde's office lay two unhappy vornskrs. Sturm was sprawled on the floor in front of the desk, whining to himself, acting more like a house mutt than the proud hunting beast he was. Drang, after slowly circling the room a few times with his head drooped, had found himself a corner to growl in. The Force sensitive creatures were obviously troubled.

Karrde leaned back in his chair, staring over bridged fingers at the source of his pet's distraction. Mara Jade sat on his couch, hunched forward, stiff as duracrete. One arm wrapping tightly around her waist as if putting pressure on a wound, her other arm was up, elbow on her knees, fist against her mouth. She stared straight ahead at the grey bulkhead across from her, eyes glazed with…with something.

Earlier she'd screamed wild, petty insults in such an erratic manner, forgetting (for once) the composure she cherished. Then, she'd fallen back into her seat, holding her head in her hands, and had stayed that way through nearly all of the comm call to the Solo's. Karrde had taken it as a bad sign that Mara had reacted so little to being the subject of conversation.

Now, Mara sat quietly, closed inside herself. She'd found her walls again, but the composure was still missing.

And as Karrde sat contemplating this, he remembered that not many minutes ago Leia Organa-Solo had asked him a question. _"Is she very angry with Luke?" –_an interesting question indeed. Karrde hadn't lied; he didn't know how to describe Mara as she was then. He'd never seen her like this, he only knew he hated it.

"_Is she angry?" _

Karrde eyed his friend carefully. His sharp mind was replaying those few moments he'd seen Mara angry—truly angry, beyond the normal irritations that came with working on the Fringe. Something further than her natural defensiveness. Anger…real anger? If anyone could bring that well guarded emotion to the surface, it was Luke Skywalker.

There was turbulence within her, he could see and feel it without the Force. Skywalker had gotten her angry before, but never so shaken—unless one counted shaking with fury, which Mara had stopped doing even before she stopped hating him.

'_No', _Karrde decided. He'd seen Mara Jade at her best, and at her worst. He knew her anger. This wasn't it. She didn't look angry, she looked….lost?

She looked lost.

For a long time now Karrde had hoped, first in curiosity but then for Mara's own sake, that she would find some mental release. He'd hope to see her someday express her emotions, fully, without the gloss of indifference over her features.

He had hoped when that time came, he would see her happy.

---

To be continued in part 4


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

Corran Horn could feel the pressure in his mind gaining weight the closer he got to the _Wilde Karrde_. Strong echoes of something his senses couldn't define whirled around through the Force. He couldn't help but wonder how long Mara's barriers could hold in such power.

He didn't know what to expect when he entered Karrde's office. Corran certainly hadn't expected to find Mirax behind the desk, greeting him with an ironic wave, then finger to her lips. She was still tipsy, using her foot to swivel the seat back and forth. His mind briefly ventured to Booster, and how much the old smuggler would enjoy the image of his daughter in Karrde's big chair.

Karrde himself was mid-sentence, standing firmly but not imposingly in front of Mara on the couch. "—of course I could wait for the morning news, but I'd rather hear the real story from you, instead of Calibop gossip from all corners of the HoloNet!"

Mara stared up at her boss with weary looking eyes. "I'd rather you hear it from me, too," she said, her almost imploring voice strong and clear. "But I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Do you think you'll want to talk about it when the press's warped version of whatever happened at that party hits the feeds? You'll clam up more than ever!" Karrde was beside himself. He was an information smuggler; knowledge was his life-force. Ordinarily he kept his curiosity in line and out of his employee's personal lives, but the prospect of never knowing what troubled his friend left him entirely exasperated.

Almost anxiously he watched Mara shake her head, her fingers moving up to her scalp, further disrupting an already loose braid.

"I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."

"I don't need help, I need to think…" Mara insisted, and Corran knew she was wrong. She may not want help, but she did need it, just like anybody else.

"Or perhaps you'd like to shout some more?" Karrde countered, probably referring to the 'all men can go to Kessel' insult ordinarily so unlike Mara.

She seemed about to retort, but with a pained look, Mara released the breath she'd been holding and let her arms fall limply against her legs. "I'm sorry, that was out of line," she muttered.

"It's also not important if there's a real problem here," Karrde reminded her. "But, whatever Skywalker did can't be that bad. As far as I've heard he hasn't turned Sith, or dented your ship. And surely he didn't kill the Emperor _again_?"

Corran winced at the spark of rage he felt through the Force as Mara sprang to her feet, green eyes blazing as she glared down the taller man. Over the years she'd developed a precarious sense of humor about her past, but was in no mood to hear a joke about it now, even if there wasn't any judgment in the words. He could feel Karrde's instant regret, and hoped the furious woman felt it too. The Master Trader usually always said the right thing, but a certain redhead had set a lot of people out of sorts tonight.

"Luke asked her out," Corran heard himself explain just as Mara opened her mouth to shout. She and Karrde whirled round to stare at him, although Corran highly doubted he'd gone unnoticed by both before that moment.

"What do you mean, 'out'?" Karrde's eyebrows furrowed. "Like on a date, that kind of out?"

Mara's immediate blush raced down her face and disappeared under her already red tunic. She dropped back onto the couch with a _plop _and he had his answer. At the end of the room, Mirax smothered a giggle in her hand.

Karrde looked from Mara to the woman in his chair and back around again to Corran—who could only shrug and try to reign in his smugness.

"_That's_ what this is all about?" Karrde could barely believe it. The corners of his lips were twitching, and he seemed ready to laugh but smartly held back. "That's all? This fit is because Skywalker wants a date?"

Corran started to reply but was quickly cut off.

"That is not _all_ and you know it, CorSec!" Mara spat. Her hands were clenched as if someone might come at her. "I'll be Kesseled if it's that simple."

Karrde sent the Jedi pilot a stern, expectant look. "I told you before that I wanted to hear the whole story," he reminded them both.

At the prospect of explaining her night, Mara's exhaustion visibly took over. She wilted, flopping backward, fingers on her forehead. "I can't do this now," she groaned desperately. "I need to think…I just need to think."

"You need to sleep, is what it looks like," Karrde observed, sobering slightly.

"I agree," Mirax chimed in. She pulled herself up from the chair and quickly crossed the room. "Let's just get home, the press isn't going to find you at our place." Mara gave the woman a guarded stare, but she continued unfazed. "You know someone would find you at a hotel. You use our guest room, I promise you'll have total privacy."

"You don't have to—"

"Mara, Luke's social life is tabloid gold," Corran joined in, appealing to the trader's sense of logic. "We'd all feel better knowing you were someplace the press can't reach."

There was something molten in the woman's green eyes, but he wasn't insulted by it. While Mara never minded aid in a firefight, offers of emotional help still provoked confusion and gut reactions. But her judgment was sound, and the flames soon cooled.

Mara nodded. "Thank you," she mumbled reluctantly, and followed Mirax out of the office to the waiting speeder.

The men watched them leave. There was a moment of silence before Karrde finally allowed the chuckle he'd been holding in to escape. Grinning, he shook his head. "So Skywalker really asked her out?" he marveled aloud as he reclaimed his desk chair. "I wish I'd seen that. Must have been quite a show."

Corran couldn't help but match the grin. "You have no idea."

---

Lando's living room was as large as the Solo's, but the furnishings (while expensive) were of a more general taste. A few pieces of artwork adorned the walls, but since spaces like this were often reserved for foreign dignitaries on extended stays, there was a lot of room for personalization a former smuggler wouldn't bother with.

Han made himself comfortable on the arc-shaped settee, his feet finding the caff table automatically. "So, what did you tell those reporters?"

"Nothing…_yet_," Lando replied, opening the bottle of Corellian. He set glasses on the table and took a seat across from the settee. "You know how I hate bad press…and this press seems to think I know something. I figured I'd find out what it is I'm supposed to know before I make any statements."

"Good plan."

"I agree—so, pal," Lando leaned back in his chair, sabacc smile on his face. "Tell me: why are Coruscant's biggest gossips filling my machine with questions about Mara Jade?"

Han's arms spread outward in a wide shrug. "I haven't the slightest idea."

"Oh?" Lando took a swig of his drink, face contorting with approval. "Then I guess you don't know why there's even more messages asking for my account of 'the events' at Ye'Wavon's party?"

"Not a clue," Han continued smoothly. "We left early. Can't imagine what 'events' I could have missed."

"Now that's the thing," Lando was still smirking, but began talking in earnest now. "Because I have six messages from four Net channels and two periodicals, all of them asking about 'the events'. They all used those words, and nobody's been more specific."

"Don't you hate it when people aren't specific?"

"Very funny, now listen." The darker man leaned forward. "I was at that party, spent an hour making a very good deal with Ye'Wavon, and when we look up all the guests are in a buzz about _something. _I tried—believe me I did—but I couldn't get the same story out of any two people. The only thing everyone agreed on was that Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker had some kind of conversation, and it ended with them both swept off in opposite directions."

"So you're saying those reporters are calling you for information? You don't think anyone really knows what happened?"

"I think _you_ know what happened," Lando replied, pinning his friend with his dark eyes. "So, let's get down to business, hmm?"

Han was silent for a long beat, his best gambling face holding tightly. He took a long drink, regarding his old friend thoughtfully before finally speaking. "Mara Jade," he said. "How serious about her are you?"

"That's a hot topic tonight," Lando replied, nodding toward his comm station.

"I'm sure, but answer the question."

The other man flashed a nostalgic smile Han recognized from a long time ago, when they'd shared a colorful past full of colorful women. "Mara Jade is the complete package," Lando stated. "Gorgeous, nose for business, and in no need of coddling."

"But?" Han prompted. He knew Lando's routine, and highly doubted it would work on the former assassin.

"But nothing, we get along. I'm laying the groundwork."

"You hate laying groundwork," Han reminded him. "I'm actually surprised you haven't given up already. So, being completely honest now—where are you two?"

Exhaling loudly, Lando leaned back in his seat. "We get along great, but only when we're talking trade," he admitted, looking only a little disgruntled. "Beyond that, she's a fortress. High walls…but what can I say, I like a challenge."

"I've got a challenge to suggest," replied Han, his eyes serious. "Actually, it's more like a favor: back off her."

Lando looked genuinely surprised. "As a favor to you?"

"To Luke."

---

Luke Skywalker, subject of so much conversation that night, sat still in his room. Tucked away in the Force, immersed within the life-giving mix of peace and activity, he was almost impossible to sense, yet everywhere at once.

Mara Jade, rushing through traffic in the Horn family speeder a district away, felt for his presence. Her half-trained mind moved stiffly as she worked the edges of his mental shields. Carefully, as if on tip-toe, her spirit brushed against his. She was quick and light, unsure of how close she could get without breaking his trance; she didn't want Luke to know she was checking up on him.

The graze on his mind was ineffective; she still didn't know what kinds of thoughts were going through his thick, Farmboy head. Mara hadn't really expected results anyway. She knew that her cautious scan would have no effect on a Jedi Master, for she had to work around her own shields in addition to his. A bolder approach was impossible for the moment; Corran would sense what she was doing immediately.

Mara wasn't quite sure what to make of Luke's intense meditation. On the one hand, it was nice to see Skywalker reacting to life in a way that wouldn't get him killed. On the other hand… _'He's hiding from me_.'

NO—Mara chastised herself for the thought. Luke was no coward. She'd wished for him to think before he acted, perhaps he was doing just that: thinking.

_Thinking! _

Force, she'd told Karrde she needed to think, but all Mara really wanted was to break free of the Horn family speeder and find a private place to turn off her brain until everything blew over. Nothing could really change, could it? Skywalker would meditate until Alderaan grew back if he had to, just to find some excuse to ignore his feelings—he always found reasons to overlook himself in his quest to save the Galaxy, and as for Mara…

Mara knew that, emotionally speaking, she'd come a long way since her days as the Emperor's Hand. She'd opened up enough to allow friends, and even went so far as to hold them at arm's length instead of blasterpoint. Significant progress, enough to keep her satisfied. She didn't know how to go any further. If Luke was seriously willing to let her into his walled up heart, Mara just didn't know how to return the favor.

And Luke's friendship was too important to loose. A relationship was impossible, her emotional ignorance would doom it from the start, and failure was…was it immanent? How could they remain friends after this?

'_I'm the one hiding from him,' _she realized, leaning her throbbing head against the speeder window. _'I failed without even making a move'. _

Something flamed inside her chest as she mulled this over. A bitterness she had not tasted in a while, but still remembered well, fell over her tongue as she burned with self reproach. _'I sound like I'm giving up without a fight! Sithspawned Skywalker! I'm not even me anymore, I'll show you…'_

What? Show him what? Mara fumbled for an answer, but came up blank.

The speeder stopped. She was faintly aware of Corran's droid, Whistler, greeting the group as they piled out. Her weary body seemed to sense that a bed was close, and overpowered her befuddled brain with signals of exhaustion. Mara was grateful for this; her mind began to clear on its own, leaving just enough room to think about the welcoming prospect of sleep. One thought, however, did manage to escape the purge, and would not be ignored:

'_He's in love with me…'_

---

"He's in love with her?" Lando repeated Han's words. He waited for the feeling of surprise, but what little there had been faded fast. His dropped jaw recovered and easily found a knowing smirk. "I guess that means Luke's finally decided to return to the land of the living—but for Mara?"

Han shrugged, a hint of smirk on his lips. His business face. "It's really not that shocking. I mean, she's done it before."

"Done what?"

"Get him back to normal—well, _normal_'s kind of a stretch for Luke, but you know how he gets," Han's brows furrowed, he waved a palm to the air at his side in a sweeping gesture. "In those moods of his. He was in one of them when Leia was pregnant. Said old Kenobi told him he was the 'first of the new Jedi' or something like that and he got his robes in a twist worrying about being a teacher.

"Then Mara shows up, points a blaster in his face, and suddenly you can't get him off the teaching idea. I guess turning the Emperor's Hand around boosted his confidence or something, I don't know. Point is, she seems to inspire him."

"Well she is inspiring, I'll give him that," Lando smiled, memory taking him back to Jabba's palace. He'd seen many dancing girls over the years, but few struck such a chord that he could pick them out five years later.

"Yeah, but you know Luke. It's not all about the sex."

"Ah Luke," Lando chuckled, reclining back in his chair. "Can't say I understand him half the time, but he's a good guy, so I don't question those Jedi morals...or farmkid morals, wherever it comes from."

He rubbed his mustache thoughtfully, replaying Han's story in his mind. "But I really should congratulate him. I've gotten Jade all sorts of irritated, but I never managed speechless," he snickered, trying to picture it. As much as Lando admired Mara, she'd rejected him many times, and he'd seen her reject many other men as well, never at a loss for sarcasm. It was pretty damn amusing to picture her fumbling for words. Fumbling over shrimp. "Of course, I never made her choke on her food, either."

The somewhat serious face Han had managed immediately fell at the memory of the party, and he joined his friend in a long laugh. They raised their glasses and made a toast to fumbling Jedi.

"And speaking of Jedi," Lando prompted, "I've gotta know—Leia. How's she handling this?"

Han barely managed to keep his whisky in his mouth as a new wave of laughter came over him. "How's she handling her brother blurting psychic 'I love you's to a former Imperial?" He held off a snicker long enough to take another swallow of his drink. "Not too bad, actually."

"Really? I wasn't sure she liked Mara," Lando responded, absently rubbing his chin as he spoke. The other man was still snickering.

It took another half minute before Han could straighten his face enough to elaborate. "Mara doesn't really bother her. I mean, they aren't gal-pals or anything, but what really got her going was Luke."

"What did _Luke_ do wrong?"

"He didn't tell her he liked Mara that way," Han explained, shrugging his shoulders. "Apparently it's insulting not to tell your sister who you're in love with. It denies her the chance to meddle—I mean, 'give advice'."

Lando chuckled again and shook his head. "So what'd she do to him?"

"As soon as we got Luke back to our place she sat him down in a chair and tried to get him to talk," Han answered. "And…well the poor kid managed to really surprise himself. Seemed to take a while for everything to sink in and when it did he…well I'll say it, the guy panicked. Leia's hurt feelings weren't helping him any so I managed to get her to leave the room. Told her charming women was the Corellian department and I promised we'd fix it."

"Bet she loved that."

"Of course not, but Leia knows she's not gonna get much out of Luke until this Mara thing comes to some kind of resolution. So, she's waiting her turn to talk, trying to help him get this all settled…" Han leaned over and refilled his glass, eyeing the darker man carefully before continuing. "Which is where you come in."

Lando immediately grew wary again. "Me? Leia's going to come after me now? What for?"

"Luke wants Mara Jade, and you want her too."

"So? You of all people should know I don't mind a healthy competition," Lando pointed out. He and Han had fought over plenty of conquests, with no harm to their friendship in the end. Of course, that kind of competition might not sit as well with Luke… "What, Luke's not worried he hurt my feelings or anything, is he?"

"He is, actually, but I told him you were fine. It's really Leia you should worry about."

"But why Leia?"

Ah, and there it was. The trademark Han Solo grin. The 'I know something you don't know, so I'm going to dangle it over you ceaselessly' grin that came out on dangerous occasions, particularly when the _Falcon_ was involved.

"Allow me to explain my wife's thought process," Han began, looking just a hair too smug. "Luke isn't just a war hero, he's her hero. But he hasn't been a very happy hero, and she does not like this one bit. Making Luke happy has kind of been her cause since the Rebellion ended, but with the kids and the Senate and Luke turning into a hermit…well, she was low on ideas. Now Luke's picked something that can make him happy, and Leia is in full blown Sister-Mode. That means whatever Luke wants, Luke gets, if she has any say in it."

"And I'll be in big trouble if I get in the way?" Lando's brow arched as he took the hint.

Han gave a wide shrug and leaned back into the settee. "Hey pal, if Jade means that much to you, I won't tell ya to stop chasing. I just thought you deserved a warning, that's all."

"That's very sporting of you."

Han pretended to take melodramatic offense, hand to his chest. "Why does everybody doubt my manners?"

Lando settled into his chair, the last of the whiskey in his glass, more thoughtful now than ever. He began mulling over his plans for the future, financially and romantically—two categories that often intermixed. He wondered: how did Mara Jade fit in.

---

A few floors away in his own apartment, Luke's meditation struggled under similar questions. How did he and Mara Jade fit together? Could they fit? Could he ask her to try? Finally, after what felt like an eternity of wading his mind through the Force of people and lights, Luke felt something in the current respond.

A feather-light touch, a breeze upon his senses. It tasted familiar and new, sounded almost like a voice. It appeared as a Tatooinne sunset, red and gold.

When he reached out, whatever it had been seemed to slip away, but as it did he felt a door open. Finally, his trance gained ground. Visions passed before his eyes and with them came peace, came action, came answers.

---

to be continued in part 5


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

---

The visions were dizzying in their speed and scene, one image changing for another, the sound from one moment in time melding with other memories. Color and sound, people and lights, memories and fantasies… and the Force. Always the Force. Luke Skywalker clung to it tightly as he rode the waves of its message, trying to decipher the intention behind it all.

He saw a jungle—Wayland. He and Mara in the dark, secluded from the rest of the camp. Luke watched as his old self guided her, helping her to levitate stones. They took a break, and her aggression toward him was, for the moment, subdued. Something overlapped the scene with cold heat, and it took him a moment to recognize it.

"_I don't want to face him, Skywalker."_

Fear—that was it. Luke could feel her fear, and his own. The memories came back fresh, with the wisdom of hindsight added to them. The Mara in the jungle told him she was afraid of facing the mad Jedi clone. In return, the Luke of years ago confessed his fear of teaching, his worry for Leia's twins, still newborns back then. His insecurity at Ben's parting words: _"Not the last of the old Jedi, the first of the new,"…_his destiny.

Luke watched the memory with a quiet ache inside, and even a hair of shock. _'That's right, we used to really talk with each other,' _he thought. Back in his room, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. _'I wonder if she stopped talking first, or if I did. No wonder she was so surprised.'_

The vision churned, and almost at once, as if a different scene played before each eye, he saw Ben hand him his father's lightsaber, and saw himself hand the weapon to Mara against the Coruscant sunset. A dip of color and there Mara was, just a few years later, blocking shots from several remotes and outshining the other students in her short time at the Academy.

The Force emphasized the blue of the blade, reminding Luke to pay attention to it. The lightsaber flashed and hummed, and Mara glowed as she moved with it so fluidly. Luke's own voice came from somewhere else, some other time: _"You're on your way to becoming a Jedi and you'll need it. But mostly…I want you to have it."_

He saw Mara's ship leaving Yavin, transposed over Corran's accusation from only hours ago—_"You bottle up your emotions."_

Luke watched the years flash by at the Academy. The students improved, and he put everything into them. Yavin started rocky, but the road had smoothed once Luke found his stride. It was better to talk with the students rather than play the all knowing Master he'd tried to imitate at the beginning. Best not to forget the earnestness he'd mistakenly pushed back for a short but injuring period. But by the time he'd figured this out, Mara was long gone.

He saw the Academy flourish. He saw himself. He saw that something was missing, was supposed to happen—what? Yoda's lesson floated over: _"You will know when you are calm, at peace…"_

Then the vision stopped, and although Luke was still in his trance, he felt a long, grateful quiet. The emotions and memories surfaced by the Force began to unwind and sort themselves, piecing together with remarkable clarity. He had an epiphany. It wasn't ready for words just yet, but it filled Luke with a deep, beautiful relief. For the first time in a long time, he felt ready.

"Luke."

It was time to wake up.

----

"…_and it turns out, channel four-eighty's so called 'witness' wasn't even at the party," the Twi-lek talk show host made a dismissive gesture with her green, manicured fingers. "But we here at Coruscant Celebrity Scoop have a dedicated fact checking staff, and I can assure you: Master Skywalker has not turned to the Dark Side, and all of Captain Jade's past suitors are—to the best of our knowledge—currently alive. _

"_However…" The host paused dramatically and lifted her pouting lips in a confiding smirk. "It is also true that nobody has seen Master Skywalker or Captain Jade since last night, and Lando Calrissian is being abnormally distant from the press. It certainly isn't a stretch to assume—"_

"That's enough, Whistler," Mirax called from the breakfast table. The green R2 unit muted the display once again, and resumed his scan of the Holo Net. Mirax sighed and took a bite of the biscuit she'd originally grabbed to throw at her screen. Five out of seven celebrity channels agreed: ladies and gentlebeings, we have a love triangle.

Luckily, the rest of the Holo Net (or as much as Whistler had scanned that morning) found it beneath them to report on gossip with so little foundation. Not that they wouldn't jump on the landspeeder once Lando made his statement. Strange that he hadn't already…

Chewing her breakfast with disinterested bites, Mirax took some satisfaction in knowing everyone's efforts had kept Luke and Mara off all but the trashiest stations. But _kriff,_ the press was sure annoying when you actually paid attention to it.

Funny thing was, most of Coruscant would wake up to rumors of convoluted Jedi romance and simply wave the information away. The son of Vader and the Emperor's Hand? Nothing the New Republic hadn't heard speculated a million times already, and never with any conclusions.

The funny part was that this time, things were serious. Or they were about to be, once Mara woke up.

But down the hall, in the second bedroom on the right, Mara Jade was already awake—and very much regretting it. She'd burrowed into the covers in a half hearted attempt to both keep the morning light off her face, and stop time itself.

Mara had never been much of a morning person, but she also hated wasting time, and rarely indulged in sleeping in. This time, though… this time she was having trouble coming up with a decent reason to get out of bed, let alone open her eyes. The day promised nothing good: reporters surely still waited beside her ship, and gossips on the morning talk show circuit were probably attacking her this very second. Then there was Calrissian to deal with, Karrde to appease, Organa-Solo to dodge--not to mention the rest of Skywalker's friends knew where to find her and probably had words to say.

'_Get out of my head, Skywalker' _ her mind hissed automatically, hating the fact that the whole damn galaxy was scrounging for a peephole into her life and it was all that Jedi's fault. Everyone had to have their say, had to give their advice, had to judge, had to press, had to pick and pick and never stop. Mara cringed underneath her sheet and gave the mattress a petulant slap. _'Something like this...it should be just between the two of us. It's our business."_

Well, Luke's business really. His crush, his problem, but Skywalker had a way of making his problems her own. It was a tendency that Mara knew went both ways, but she didn't want to concede the point just then. Instead, she lay silently with her hands clenched and eyes obstinately shut against a bad day prepared and waiting for her.

She heard the clinks and clatters of Mirax setting the table for breakfast in the other room, and the noise brought Mara back to the previous night, when the other woman had dragged her to a cantina and crashed their glasses together, saying: "Now, I'm going to introduce you to 'girl talk'. Trust me, you'll love it."

Mara's fists unclenched a little. Perhaps she wasn't being fair. True, the Horns were kind of nosy, but at least it came from sincere concern rather than greedy obtrusiveness. Mirax had actually been rather good company. Mara had never been much for personal conversations, but last night she'd been ready to burst with rage after the embarrassment of the party. She felt that if she didn't complain (loudly and with many threats) about Luke Skywalker to someone she might burst, and Corran's wife proved to be an excellent listener.

"He's always doing this! Always making everything complicated," she'd growled into her third savreen brandy at the Ambassador Hotel's upscale interpretation of a cantina. "Even when I'm not near him he screws with my life. I'll be minding my own business, then he gets in trouble and it's me who has to drop everything to help him."

Mirax nodded sympathetically. "If you want something done right…"

"…you drag his sorry Jedi butt to the bacta tank yourself," Mara finished, presenting her empty glass to the bartender expectantly. "Damn natural disaster of a man."

"I know what you mean, Corran's always letting trouble just find him," Mirax said distantly, staring at Mara through her half filled wine goblet. "You know, maybe it's some kind of Rogue Squadron thing. They get in an x-wing and it saps up their common sense or something. I wonder where it goes."

"Probably to the droid compartment," Mara surmised. "It would explain why Skywalker and CorSec keep their R2's so close."

"Yes!" Mirax cheered, her drink nearly spilling. "And then they come crawling to us because once they get out of their ships, they're lost without a copilot! You know, I'm still not convinced Corran could dress himself before I came along. I bet Wedge laid out his clothes."

A laugh slipped out, louder than Mara normally allowed. "I wish somebody would dress Luke, I don't know why Leia lets him out of doors wearing the same getup every day."

…Mara stiffened in bed, her mental replay of the night before freezing as she realized something. So much of her conversation with Mirax had been comparing Luke and Corran, competing, matching stories. She'd talked as the married woman had. Talked as if she and Luke were a couple, as if they'd always been a pair. Mara drew her knees up to her chest, her breath quickening as she remembered how natural—and even _fun_--it had felt to speak that way.

And then there was that other thing Mirax had said, probably knowing exactly what she'd started. The comment that broke the jovial mood and overworked Mara's mind into a spiral of thought that later exploded in poor Karrde's face:

"You said you could feel it, that Luke's in love with you?" Mirax had noted. They'd finally drunk enough to get Mara talking about the Force without a fight.

"Yeah," she'd confirmed hoarsely. The echo of Luke's projection had yet to leave her. "Like some window opened, it's—it was everywhere."

Mirax pulled a lock of black hair behind her ear, turned her serious but glassy eyes on Mara and said, "I don't have the Force—all I saw was Luke saying he wants to date you. I didn't know it was so big at first…one date's not so big. I wonder what would have happened if he blocked all that love from you and just asked you out. You know, normal like. With the build up, and the time to sort things out…instead of everything all at once like it is now." She gave a shrug, so small and perfect it was almost calculating. "But it's not as if Rogues know kriff about normal, anyway."

And as soon as she'd said that, Mara had begun to wonder. The thought wouldn't leave her mind—One date? Would she have said yes to that? Could she have looked into those open blue eyes and told such a good person no? Probably. She felt a burn inside at the realization of how hard she fought everyone around her, especially Luke. So terrified was she that one misstep would devastate her new life, just as one failed assassination had ruined her old life—not that there were any regrets on that last front.

Still, the temptation of the phantom offer had not escaped her notice. She felt its pull even now, in her current state of distress. There was a longing inside Mara, more than she'd ever let escape before. Possibilities passed tauntingly over her imagination: One little date to face, instead of this frightening wall of twisted emotions and consequences and confusion she saw in front of her now? A calm evening with her friend, instead of a night's cowardice avoiding each other? Nothing was ever so simple for Mara Jade.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I think what he did kind of sweet," Mirax had told her. "Way too public, sure, and maybe not so smart…but still sweet."

And nobody had ever given her sweet before.

Stupid devious Mirax and her stupid insight and her stupid good points.

Stupid kind Skywalker and his stupid farmboy earnestness and his stupid gigantic gestures.

'_Why me, Luke? Why me?' _Mara wondered for the millionth time as the early morning light became insistent. _'Why not some delicate girl who thinks you're the living end? Why not some fragile beauty who likes being rescued and lives to fawn over you? You know, your type. The kind that's all wrong for you.'_

Hot, unwelcome moisture pressed against her eyelids and Mara slammed her hand against the mattress once more. The movement caused the blanket to dislodge from her face, and the fresh air brought the smell of caf to her attention. Her stomach growled, now aware that food was near, a reminder that she hadn't finished dinner last night.

Still reluctant to face the day, but tempted to face breakfast, Mara rolled onto her stomach and set her weight on her elbows. Taking a deep breath, she finally opened her eyes.

X-wing bed sheets.

"Blast it," she growled, dropping her red face into her hands "I'm in Valin's room."

Toys and music cards lay scattered on the carpet, models of snubfighters dangled from the ceiling on transparent wire, and more than a few drawers were left open with clothing hanging out. Definitely Valin's room.

Mara grimaced under the realization that when she'd dragged herself to bed the night before, she missed the guestroom entirely. Just one more embarrassment to add to the list. She sighed loudly. The boy would be home soon, and probably wouldn't appreciate his dad's hung-over friend in his space.

Now she _had _to get out of bed.

----

"Luke…"

A voice penetrated the fog of his mind. It blended gently with the current of the Force; a stable, calming presence. "Luke, wake up," it called again, and this time he was aware of pressure on his shoulders, a shake, his mind returning to the physical now.

Opening his eyes, Luke blinked away the blur and sunspots from his vision, and his sister's face came into focus. Her expression was gently chiding, but he sensed her worry. "You've been meditating all night?" Leia asked.

He gave her a drowsy smile. "Sure looks like it," he replied. He was still sitting on the floor beside his bed, Leia in front of him now. Luke leaned a little to look past her, out the window. The sun rose on the opposite side of the palace, but he could see the quickly receding grey of morning light. It was just after dawn, and apparently Artoo had taken his 'no calls until morning' instruction very literally.

Raising a stiff arm, Luke rubbed the muscles in his neck. "Good morning, then," he said, still giving his sister the smile he knew she couldn't stay irritated with.

Leia sighed, shook her head, and smiled back. "Good morning, little brother," she answered, then rose to her feet. "I'll get you something to eat while we talk." With that, she glided off to his kitchenette.

It took Luke a minute or two to run through his muscle relaxing Force techniques. Meditating in one position all night was apparently harder on the body than a long hyperspace jump in an x-wing cockpit.

All night...jump…_Force!_

He knew a moment of panic—had this Jedi version of oversleeping cost him his window? Had Mara already jumped planet?

"Don't worry, Luke," Leia called from the other room. "Mara's still on Coruscant. I checked." Whether she'd sensed his train of thoughts through the Force or sisterly intuition, Luke couldn't tell. He regained his original calm with surprising ease. The internal serenity from long emersion in the Force was a big help. He had asked the Force to guide him on his rocky path with Mara; if it saw fit to keep him occupied all night it was probably for the best, or so he reassured himself.

His limbs recovered, Luke followed the smell of toast and headed for his work/dining table. Leia was waiting for him, pushing a warm cup of hot chocolate into his hands before settling herself in the chair across from him. "Well?"

Luke sipped gratefully from his mug before answering. "It's good, thanks Leia."

Her eyebrow twitched visibly, and he hid a smile in his drink. "That's not what I meant, and you know it," Leia snapped with practiced regality. Luke frowned, furthering his read on her though the Force. He wasn't surprised to sense her concern, magnified by the circumstances, but there was something else…injured pride?

"Luke…" Leia sighed and started over. Reaching across the table, she took his hands off his mug and grasped them tightly with both of her own small hands. "You really have me worried." She said. "You were on Yavin so long and…and then, after you finally seemed like your old self again, things explode with Mara. You seemed really upset last night, you shut yourself away again. If you're trying to spare my feelings by pretending you're just fine, I want you to stop this minute."

Luke stared at his sister, at first managing nothing but a surprised blink. Then he blushed, remembering his vision. The mistake of isolating himself, of not communicating with Mara as he once did, saying what he thought he should rather than what was on his mind…this was a mistake he'd repeated with Leia too. No wonder he'd felt so lonely on Yavin. He'd been pushing everyone away. At the time, he thought keeping his troubled thoughts to himself would help, but it hadn't, not at all.

Sending a wave of apology through their bond, Luke squeezed her hands and gave her a meek smile. "I don't like making you worry Leia," he said. "But I don't want to shut you out, either. I'm not pretending I'm fine. I don't think I'm fine, but I feel a lot better than I did last night. The meditating helped. Honest."

Leia kept up her sisterly glare for another few beats before she was satisfied. Releasing his hands, she gave the real one a quick pinch and pushed a plate of food in front of him. "So the Force told you what to do about Mara, then?"

"Not exactly," Luke shook his head, the sound muffled by toast and jam as he dug in eagerly. He hadn't eaten much last night, and meditating didn't rejuvenate the body like sleep did. Swallowing at last, he held off the next bite long enough to finish the thought. "It showed me my history with Mara. Things from the past that I needed see again, knowing what I know now."

"Learning from the past to prepare yourself for the future."

"Exactly."

He could sense Leia had more to say, but it was only after he'd finished his meal plus seconds that she came out with it.

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt about Mara?"

Luke stiffened, feeling his face grow warm again. He didn't wonder why he hadn't told Leia so much as wonder why he hadn't told himself. "I didn't realize I loved her until last night," he confessed.

Leia gave a frustrated sigh and swung her heavy braid off her shoulder in lieu of an eyeroll. "How could you possibly not realize something so important?"

"I don't know," Luke countered, "How could you kiss your own brother rather than admit you loved Han?"

Leia opened her mouth, response ready, but instead fell back in a laugh. The Jedi Master didn't realize how much he looked like little Anakin right then, with his mischievous eyes and breadcrumbs clinging to his cheeks. "Well I guess that's fair," she admitted. "But if you want to know the truth, I had feelings for Han long before they surfaced on Hoth. But denying them was so automatic, I kept at it until he kissed me. Then I had to face myself."

Luke smiled at his sister, catching her fond wave of nostalgia through the Force, prompting one of his own.

"When Ben taught me how to use the Force, it was like he turned on a light in a room I hadn't known was dark," he said, endeavoring to explain his epiphany as best he could. "The Force had always been with me, I just hadn't recognized that there was a part of myself that was supposed to be more. I think that's how it went with Mara. Something started building from the moment I met her—I don't know when it grew into love, but that's what's been in me for a long time. Last night, the light finally turned on."

Leia was quiet for a long time before responding. "Last night, Han said that if you and Mara had enough time to yourselves, you'd have figured each other out by now," she said. "I wasn't so sure myself. I thought this was happening too fast, but…listening to you now, I think he was right. This has been waiting to happen."

He was relieved to feel a wave of understanding coming from Leia. Whatever the day had in store for him, Luke could at least face it with his sister's support. So much for the easy part, but now there was Mara to face.

---

To be continued in part 6


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

It occurred to Mara, as she made her way into the living area, that while she'd had early business meetings, she'd never actually had breakfast in another person's home before. She found her gut twisting with equal parts awkwardness and hunger as she walked, only to find nobody at the table when she got there.

She was surprised for a moment, until it became obvious where Mirax had gone off to. Her voice came loud and clear from a room down the second hallway: "For the LAST TIME, WEDGE, she's not going to care about LUKE'S DAMN SERVICE RECORD! Now STOP calling me, I'm TRYING TO EAT!"

In a sudden blur of black hair and red sleep shift, Mirax was back at the table. "Good morning!" she smiled—but thankfully it was not one of those perky 'morning person' smiles. She made a hand motion in the living area's direction, and Mara noticed Whistler turn off the Holo Net out of the corner of her eye. "C'mon, sit down and try to eat my cooking."

_'Bad morning'_ Mara thought, still eyeing the astromech and darkened screen as she found a seat facing the door. She served herself a bowl of what was probably (to judge by the spicy smell) Corellian oatmeal. After one bite her hungry body immediately responded with demands for more. Mara decided it would be better to wait until after she'd eaten before asking about the press' damage. So instead, she focused on the com. call. "Everything all right?"

"What?" Mirax looked up from her plate. She glanced back to the room she'd just come from and rolled her eyes. "Oh that was just Wedge. He thinks he's being helpful. He was probably out all night—when he does that he tends to forget that other people sleep. Calling me every ten kriffing minutes with a lame idea that's supposed to make you go googly-eyed over Luke."

Mara winced, beyond humiliated by this point. "I'm sorry about the trouble."

But Mirax only shook her head dismissively. "Don't be, it's not your fault that after the Death Star all these girls started throwing themselves at him. He's now under the impression he used to be a lady's man," she flashed a wide smirk over her caff mug. "Delusions of grandeur if you ask me. Sides, some of those ideas he's spouting reek of Wes Janson."

"Force preserve me," Mara muttered, provoking a laugh from her companion. The knot in Mara's gut began to ease. Still, she didn't want to make an even greater pest of herself, so Mara swallowed her pride and decided to put off asking about her clothes.

She'd woken up in loose pants and a large shirt. The pants were Mirax's, and a little short. As for the shirt, it was difficult to tell, because it seemed a bit small for Corran but a bit big for his wife, unless she liked to sleep in oversized clothing.

A memory recall exercise the Emperor had taught her showed Mirax handing her the clothes to sleep in as she'd headed for bed in a fog. The recall exercise also brought back the directions to the guest room, which had evidently been ignored. After making Valin's bed with military perfection, Mara had discovered her tunic and pants were nowhere to be seen. Somehow, taking a meal with other people while wearing sleep clothes made her feel more underdressed than her dancing garb at Jabba's Palace, and this was no help to her mood.

Just as she was wishing she'd been able to find a hairbrush, the apartment door slid open and Corran Horn walked in. He was holding his son Valin's hand in one of his own, and in the other hand was—much to Mara's chagrin—a small clear bag with her clothes in it. "Look what I found!" he announced happily. "Delivery from the laundry droids, and somebody's kid!"

"Daaaaad!" Valin groaned, trying to tug himself free of his father to rush the breakfast table.

"How was the slumber party?" Mirax called as she popped back into the kitchen, only to emerge a moment later with a brightly colored box. She set it on the table in front of Mara, who wrinkled her nose at it skeptically. '_Ewok__ O's!__ Part of a Human's Complete Breakfast'. _

"It was fun," Valin answered, tossing a rucksack and a child-size bedroll on the floor next to Whistler. There weren't many chairs at the table, and to Mara's surprise and discomfort, he picked one next to her.

"Jacen snuck in a gula-rat. It got away after Madame Du'Reel said lights out and—" the boy paused to dump cereal into his bowl. Mara blinked in confusion as a tiny rubber Rancor came out with the colorful O's. Valin examined it with a scrutinizing eye before returning to his meal and his story. "He sneaked it in and it started jumping on the bedrolls and some of the girls started screaming until Jania told them to shut up and then Madame Du'Reel told Jania not to say 'shut up' and nobody could find the rat and…' The story soon became impossible to understand through Valin's chewing, and Mara returned her attention to her own breakfast feeling unexplainably winded.

She focused on trying not to eat too fast, trying not to appear in a great hurry to leave. And yet, as good an actress as she was, Mara's stiff attempt at nonchalance couldn't fool Corran Horn. He was seated across from her, occupied with his son, but only for the moment. Every so often he'd glance at her with the look of a person with something to say. Mara glared back, using her best _'drop it'_ look, but it was no use. She could feel the tumblers in his brain turning and clicking into place. By the time Valin finished breakfast, he would probably have an entire speech prepared. Annoyed, she tightened her own shields and tried to think of any excuse that might get her out of the apartment within the next five minutes.

"Captain Jade?" The address was in a higher pitch than she was used to, and it took Mara a beat to realize that Valin was talking to her. She'd only met the boy once before, when she'd gone with Karrde to _The Errant Venture_ for a supply run that happened to coincide with one of Valin's visits. She looked down at the child and was suddenly very nervous about what Corran might have said to him on the ride over.

"Yes?" _'If he asks me about Luke Skywalker, his father is getting beaten in his own home!'_

"Did you bring any music cards?"

"Huh?"

"Valin!" Corran admonished, sitting up straight in his chair. "That's very rude! Not every houseguest we have comes here to bring you presents."

"I know!" Valin retorted with youthful lack of volume control. "I'm not a _baby._"

"We know, dear," Mirax placated, pouring more blue milk in her son's bowl as she explained. "It's Dad's and Karrde's fault. They've been in some kind of competition since Fete Day. I think it's a 'who's got the better contacts' pissing contest, I don't know, but apparently Karrde knows somebody in the Ettian Orchestra Commission of all places and decided to show off."

"Oh so _that's _why there were chordokeylo tonal cards in that box of Ettian plate-filmsi," Mara mused. "I'd wondered what Karrde wanted them for. Sorry Valin, I haven't got any on me."

"I didn't think free gifts were Karrde's style," said Corran.

"Ordinarily no," Mara admitted, "but if somebody on the Ettian Orchestra Commission owes you a favor…well, that's not worth much on the fringe. If you can find a reason to call the favor in, why not do it? Wasting a debt isn't Karrde's style either, you know."

Mirax looked about to add something when the com signaled. The noise made her stiffen for a moment, then her face mutated into a malevolent glare. "Wedge Antilles, if that's you I swear I'm gonna…" she left the threat dangling over the table as she stomped back to the office.

Next to her, Valin was shifting in his seat. "I wasn't trying to be greedy," he muttered. "I'm not a baby."

Mara stared at the boy. Suddenly she noticed that he'd finished his breakfast. Her plate was finally cleared as well, and a quick glance across the table showed Corran was down to caff. Breakfast over. Time to grab her clothes and get the blazes out of this apartment before—

"I know you're not, Valin. Why don't you go unpack your bag?" Horn said, eyes not on his son but on her. "Captain Jade and I need to talk."

_'__Shavit__Too slow.'_Mara's narrowed her eyes, not shrinking from the challenging gaze, though inside she was blazing.

Valin eyed the adult's staring contest dubiously for a moment, then hopped down from his chair. Mara wasn't sure if she was glad or sorry to see him go. He grabbed his things from the living area and Whistler, taking the hint, followed him to his room.

There was a long silence at the breakfast table. Mara refused to break it, and accentuated this affirmation by "casually" refilling her mug. Finally (although he probably could have waited just as long) Corran spoke:

"Well?" he said. One eyebrow raised a fraction.

"Must we?"

"We must."

Mara held her glare for another few seconds, then with an irritated sigh, flopped back in her chair. She'd weighed her options and come to the conclusion that, although she could easily spar all day using only the "this is none of your damn business" argument, it would ultimately just make her look childish, and keep her in the apartment longer. This Luke business had to be resolved right away, so she might as well start getting it over with.

"All right, out with it then," she said. "Let's hear all the reasons you think I should start up with Skywalker—and you better get your entire list out of the way now, because I don't want to have this damn conversation more than once."

He held up his palms. "Easy Mara, I didn't plan to advertise the Jedi Master. Besides, I doubt I know anything of value about him that you don't know already."

"True," Mara acknowledged. "Then what did you want to talk about?"

"Hells, Mara, what am I supposed to say?" he shrugged. "The man's in love with you. It's worth conversing about."

"And if I don't want to talk about it?"

"Then you don't have to. But _I _want to talk about it, and the less time you spend talking is more time spent listening," Corran flashed her a smirk, but the humor of the gesture didn't reach across the table. "Guess it all comes down to your preference."

For a moment there was a standoff. Green eyes met greener. She dared him to try her patience by talking. His matching expression challenged her to initiate. Eventually Mara had to concede that this battle of wills was getting her nowhere fast, and unlike the off-duty Rogue, _she_ had places to be today.

So Horn wanted her to talk? Fine. It wasn't as though she'd never been interrogated before anyway. She'd held on to Imperial secrets under torture, surely she could hold on to her temper and not exacerbate the situation. She'd explain herself calmly, rationally, and very very quickly. Then she'd leave this apartment one step closer to getting her life back to normal.

"All right," Mara gritted out, the tone of her voice obviously leashed. "So Luke Skywalker fell in love with me somehow. Fine.

"I don't recall ever trying to seduce him, but apparently the deed's done. Luke is Luke. He feels things for people that are unexplainable—Vader, for instance—so this is really not far from his norm. If you think I blame him for all the trouble? I honestly don't, even though I should and I want to. And it certainly isn't my fault either. So there, I talked. Satisfied?"

"I've never known Luke Skywalker to lack an explanation for anything," was Corran's thoughtful reply.

"Yes, well," against her will, Mara began to shift uncomfortably. "He just broadcasted the emotion, not the reason for it."

Corran nodded, and somehow the following silence wasn't strained this time. Mara risked lowering her mental shields enough to scan him, but couldn't feel much beyond a concerned inward focus. The only sound was Mirax's laugh, floating in from the other room. Finally, letting out a loud breath, Horn spoke the question she'd known was coming since Luke dropped his bombshell:

"So what are you going to do?"

Something withered and Mara sighed. "I can't do it," she said slowly. "You know I can't."

"Can't give Luke a chance?"

"Don't say it like that," she bit back. "Him and I are just too different. He's a troublemaking pacifist who wants it all--commitment, domestics, the whole cargo hold. You can't just give a person like Luke a…a _try. _He's not a tunic.It's one of those do, or do not deals.

"I've never even thought about having a relationship with him—with anybody—and now everyone who isn't forming an angry mob about me is cheerleading for me to get on board with this. I'm expected to just ignore the entire circus my private life has become, and flip some Luke switch in my brain that sets me on 'happy girlfriend'?" she sneered bitterly. "How the blazes am I supposed to do that?

"Now that's harsh, Mara," Corran shifted, running a hand through his hair. "Everyone knows feelings aren't console switches. So some people think you'd make a good couple. It's not as though anybody's planned your immediate wedding."

"I already know where I stand with Luke. He is my _friend_." Mara emphasized the point by jabbing a finger on the tabletop. She would not be guilted into turning her life upside-down just to indulge a few romantics. "And because he's my friend I am not going to hurt him more than I have to. What we have is fine. It doesn't need to change, and it doesn't need to be complicated with 'we'll see', or 'maybe in time'. That only provides false hope and makes things worse in the long run. He needs a definite answer."

Corran frowned deeply. "And the answer is no?"

"It has to be."

"But what if later on you find yourself ready to try a relationship? You'll have closed the door."

"That's a maybe. I can't ask him to pledge himself for a maybe—because he _would_. He'd do it, and in the meantime the next great love of his life might walk on by because he's waiting on maybe." And Luke had let himself miss out on too much already. "I won't be responsible for that."

She finished, and let out a loud breath. It had actually felt good to get that off her chest, but she couldn't relax. It wasn't over yet. There was yet another long silence at the table. It wasn't a contest this time. Mara waited, but what she thought she'd hear didn't come. Finally, she had to ask: "You aren't going to try and talk me out of it?"

The silence kept a few seconds more as Corran sighed and gathered himself. "No, I'm not," he said softly. He met her eyes and for the first time Mara blinked, surprised. She hadn't expected that.

"But I am going to point out," he continued, "that the reasons you listed for rejecting Luke were about things you don't want. You don't want people meddling in your affairs, you don't want to hurt Luke..."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Absolutely nothing," he assuaged. "Very sensible. I can even understand you not wanting to change your life around, since I'll admit to being the stubborn type myself. I'm just pointing out that there's another side, one concerned with what you _do _want. Think about it."

Mara opened her mouth to give him a damn good idea of what she wanted at that moment, but he barreled on without giving her a chance to speak.

"I mean really think about it," Corran held up a hand. "As if there's no press over your shoulder and nobody looking on to gossip about you. Think about it as if you and Skywalker were the only people around. Because believe me, if it turns out Luke is the one you want, then the crowd won't matter. If he's who you want, trying to rationalize it away won't work.

"But if he's not the one you want, then there's no point in me trying to convince you otherwise. I wouldn't be a very good friend to you if I did. Yes there's some 'cheerleading' going on, we want Luke to be happy, but this isn't all about him. It's also about you. You need to be happy too. So the answer to your question is no. I'm not going to try and talk you out of anything."

Mara was stunned, unsure of how to respond to this. It was strange—up until that moment she'd been sure she'd have to fight Horn tooth and nail to make herself understood. She'd been sure that the morning had only promised conflict. It hadn't occurred to her that she'd have anyone's support today. Well, at least not anyone beside's Karrde, but even if he kept it to himself, her boss probably had his own opinions on how she should handle matters.

Shame began its creep through her limbs at the realization of how defensive she'd been. How…_paranoid_ even. Corran Horn was her friend, and although she didn't know Mirax that well, the woman had been nothing but welcoming. Yet some part of her had still labeled them: Luke's friends, only Luke's. That part of her had spent the night and morning braced, prepared for them to turn on her and start making implorations for Luke's sake, demands for her to change herself. Mara had neglected to enter her own feelings into the equation, assuming nobody else would.

So she'd underestimated her friend, and that had been a cruel mistake. It had been an automatic reaction, seemingly logical, she could no longer remember why. And 'why?' was certainly the big question for the day. With a touch of fear, she wondered if there were other mistakes, other wrong decisions made as she allowed defensive reactions to cloud her judgment.

_'How long have I been sabotaging myself?' _

And she still didn't know what to say to Corran. But luckily, Mirax saved her from that. The other woman swooped back into the room, amusement radiating off her. If she'd noticed the serious air around the table (and she probably had) she gave no indication of caring.

"So that was Iella on the com," she announced, reclaiming her chair. "Wedge asked her to call me, see if I'd divulge all my supposed Mara secrets to her since I wouldn't talk to him. I don't think Wedge should take vacations, he get's ridiculous when he's bored."

"I'm gonna tell him you said that," Corran smirked at his wife.

"Yeah, you do that. Anyway, Mara—Karrde buzzed in, wants to talk to you."

"Thanks," said Mara. She stood and quickly made her way down the hall that Mirax had come from. There were two doors, and this time she picked the correct one. She found the apartment com station on standby mode in the Horn family office, which was far cleaner than Mirax's father's office on _The Venture_.

Taking a seat at the desk, Mara attempted to smooth her hair before answering, hoping to look at least mildly presentable. "Karrde?" she said, taking the com off standby. Her employer's familiar features appeared on the small display.

"Good morning, Mara," Talon Karrde greeted with his usual pleasantness. "Sleep well?"

"I slept fine. What's the damage on the HoloNet?"

"Getting right to the point, I see," Karrde smiled. "Don't worry, it's not as bad as you think."

"How bad should I think it is?" she countered.

"Depends on your point of view," he replied evenly. "In terms of exposure, that party got a lot. In terms of facts...apparently the gossip feeds couldn't find a reliable witness, so it's only twenty or so channels updating the usual crack theories about you and Skywalker. So you're getting a lot of coverage, but it's not on any reputable station."

Mara wasn't convinced she'd get out that easily. "What about Calrissian? He hasn't made a statement?"

"I think he wants to talk to you first," Karrde explained, stroking his beard the way he did when his mind was occupied. "He's called more than once asking where he can find you. I told him he'd know when you wanted him to."

"Mm.." Things could get better or worse with the press, depending on what Lando told them. Also depending on how _he_ responded to the existing rumor mongering. "What are the gossip channels saying?"

At this question, her employer looked ready laugh. "Oh, it's quite fascinating." Grinning, he reached out of the screen's range and produced a datapad, which he then began to read from. "_Core Current_ has decided that you and Skywalker have been longtime secret lovers since Wayland, and Lando Calrissian is a horrible person for trying to steal his friend's woman."

"Fascinating," Mara deadpanned.

"It gets better. _Wake Up, Coruscant! _Believes that you and Calrissian have been longtime secret lovers since Wayland, and that Luke Skywalker is showing ominous signs of Sithhood for trying to, quote, 'court a taken lady'. _Bl'efar'naia__ and Friends _naturally thinks you're an evil seductress."

"Naturally."

"_Chatting with __Javeta_thinks the idea of the New Republic Hero and the former Emperor's Hand has that romantic star-crossed lovers ring to it. She thinks Luke should kidnap you the way Solo did with Leia. But _Good Morning Coruscant _was the best, I think. They declared Jedi drama was 'so last year' and dropped the subject within five minutes."

"Thank you, Karrde, I think I've heard enough." Mara ran her fingers wearily though her hair. Now she remembered why she stayed away from tabloids. Oh well. She could only hope all the absurd contradictions would keep reasonable citizens from taking any of it seriously. "Are there still reporters by my ship?"

"None. Leia and Antilles raised the clearance on our docking bays," Karre assured her. "And now that you can get to you ship I must ask: how long to you plan on staying on Coruscant?"

Mara sighed. "Translation: 'Are you going to blast off planet before talking to Skywalker?'"

Karrde merely smiled. "My motives are purely professional, I assure you. If you planned on staying I have a few transactions I could use your assistance with, but if you're leaving I'm sure I can manage on my own."

"Just send the damn data to my ship and I'll see what I can do," Mara grumbled, rubbing her forehead.

"Certainly," said Karrde. He looked far too smug for his own good. "And may I tell Calrissian where to find you?"

Mara thought a moment before replying, "Yes. I might as well get that out of the way."

"Very well, that was all I called about, so I'll sign off. Oh, and Mara?"

"What?"

"Nice shirt."

The screen blanked. Mara looked down at herself and groaned. She hadn't noticed it before, but there was writing on her borrowed shirt. A slogan printed in block letters: 'Everything's Bigger on Corellia'.

Mara changed into her (now clean) tunic and pants in a rush. Still, she was barely fast enough, having only just righted her hair when the com buzzed again. As expected, it was Lando. She turned on the screen and was immediately met with his wide, white smile.

"Ah, the lovely Mara Jade," Lando greeted, "I hope you're having a good morning?"

"Just fine, Calrissian," she replied. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes I did, and about a very important matter."

"Important, you say?" Mara raised her brows and wondered how the charmer would phrase his point.

"Very. Now—I'm only going to ask this once. That is to say, once more…" he paused a beat, perhaps to build anticipation, "Will you do me the great honor of being my dinner guest tonight? And please keep in mind this will be your last chance at this offer."

A long list of sarcastic retorts came to mind immediately, but Mara remembered what trouble her automatic responses had caused with Corran and held back. There was really no need to be mean. If she was honest with herself, Mara had to admit she liked Lando—just not the way he wanted her to.

She found him smart, resourceful, and doing business with him could be refreshing compared with most of the fringe smugglers. He was a good enough person, and a talented conversationalist—when he wasn't being completely smarmy and annoying. If he was serious about giving up his pursuit and finally acting like a rational human being around her, then there'd be no need to burn this bridge. _'See me, Skywalker? I'm learning.'_

So Mara Jade took in the familiar question with its melodramatic delivery, took a deep breath, and gave him the most indulgent smirk she could manage. "Thank you, Calrissian, but my answer is still no."

He didn't seem too broken about it. He held his hands up in defeat, but his smile remained. "I hereby concede defeat, Lady Jade. Although it really is your loss, especially now that I'm ready to start my latest business venture."

"Oh?"

"I'm getting married."

Mara's jaw nearly hit the desk. She certainly hadn't expected _that._ "You're…you're what?" Surely this was taking the jocular atmosphere too far.

Lando nodded his dark head sagely and continued on as if hadn't said anything crazy. "Getting married, oh yes. I did some thinking last night and I feel it's time to make some changes in my life. I came to the conclusion that the two things I need are a lovely lady by my side, and a loyal business partner. It seems like good sense to combine the two."

"That doesn't sound like sense to me."

He was undeterred, wagging his finger with a grin. "Ah-ah, Mara, jealousy will do you no good now. You took yourself out of the running, remember? I am now determined to find a new woman; I'm sorry, but you'll not talk me out of it."

Mara wasn't sure whether to laugh out loud or start yelling. Her talent for reading people, her Force sense—both were telling her that despite the display, Calrissian was actually serious. Was it really just a business move, or had he come to some strange conclusion that marriage was the natural follow up to womanizing?

She decided that whatever was going through his curly head was probably more than she wanted to know. "If you're really set on this fool idea of searching out eligible—probably obscenely rich—women to pick a bride," she gritted, "Then do yourself one favor."

"What's that?"

She looked him hard in the eye. "Don't' pick a stupid one."

"Ah, Jade, are you sure you aren't jealous?"

"It's just advice."

"From a friend?" one brow rose and for the first time his tone matched his words.

She tried to muster up one of her meaner glares, but it failed. "Yes."

"Then I accept," he flashed his big white grin once more, and the closed the connection.

Mara stared at the blank screen for a full minute after he'd gone. Finally, she stood up and headed back to the table. She still didn't know what to think about Calrissian, but she was definitely starting to understand Mirax's fixation with good gossip.

-----

It was more than an hour after talking with Calrissian when she finally left the Horns. Mara was finally headed back to the Palace, back to her ship. She needed to be in a familiar place right then, needed an anchor, for her mind was spinning.

It had been a...strange morning, to say the least. But surprisingly, considering everything, it hadn't been a bad morning.

Her usual, if not sporadic socializing time was usually spent with Karrde's people. Familiar faces she kept at an authoritative distance as Second in Command. And since she'd gotten her own ship, her solitude had increased. Mara hadn't noticed anything wrong with that until she'd rejoined Corran and Mirax at the table.

Suddenly there was fresh caf in her hand, and conversation that wasn't about work, and an overwhelming realization that she'd talked more in this whole morning than she had all week. Breakfast had never felt more surreal. Mara watched herself as if she was outside her own body—watched this redheaded woman talking with friends and wondered who she was and where she'd been.

And what the hell had changed?

_'Luke._' He was the culprit, of course. Nobody else could cause such introspection in her, and Mara was fast coming to the realization that she could never simply shake off his influence.

Skywalker had soaked into her life long ago. First as a focus of vengeance, then as the soothing presence who's kindness had overpowered her hatred. His was the supportive she felt each time she stretched out with the Force, using more power than her former Master had ever allowed. It was his love that still clung to her skin, already a part of her after less than a day.

And that! That was it. That love, so overwhelming she'd done her best to ignore it, because it had made her think too much. It was those thoughts that brought her walls to full height. Those walls that had to stay because lowering them would change everything.

She didn't want to think about his love. If she did, she'd have to admit that it felt good around her. The echo of his wordless confession was warm and bright, and the thought of it fading made her ache in places that didn't make sense. If she acknowledged this—if she _accepted_ it—then… _'Then what happens?'_ She didn't know.

Mara had admitted to herself that even if Luke had asked her out politely instead of…whatever last night was supposed to be, she still would have said no. But the question that kept coming back was '_why?__'._

Turning down Calrissian all those times had been a no-brainer. Mara wasn't quite sure if she had a 'type' when it came to men, but Lando wasn't it. She wanted to be talked to, not seduced, and all that the former general wanted was to show off his moves. Turning down Luke however, that felt more…automatic? No, instinctive was the word. It burrowed down to the core of her self-preservation instincts. All last night's inner turmoil had left her terribly confused, but what Mara did know was this: Lando's advances had made her feel annoyed. Luke's had made her feel afraid.

_'It would change too much, just too much,' _was the thought that had tormented her. But now, after Mara had sat in the company of friends she'd almost brushed away for no good reason, she had to question herself.

_''Since when do I cower? I think going out with Luke is cataclysmic, do I? Well, I used to think the same about having friends. __Time to reevaluate some things.'_

The air taxi stopped at the palace, and Mara walked to her ship in a fast-paced daze. When she was finally safe inside the _Jade's Fire_, she headed for the cockpit. The pilot's seat, focal point of confidence in her sideways world.

Mara sat down in the familiar chair, focusing on the physical sensation of the supportive leather molded perfectly to her frame. She took a slow, deep breath; she let it out and took another. _Calm.__ Peace._

It was time to figure out what feelings lay behind the fear. Time to figure out what she wanted.

She reached out with the Force….and almost immediately discovered a familiar presence. Luke Skywalker was outside her ship.

Mara's heart stopped and restarted as she tried to process the surprise and what it meant. Under other circumstances she'd have wondered how he'd managed to sneak up on her. But at that moment, her mind was blank. Until his voice filled it through the Force: _"Are you leaving?"_

For a moment, Mara didn't understand what he meant, but apprehension leaking through the Jedi Master's barriers made her realize how things must look to him. He thought she'd gone to her ship to leave planet, to leave him.

_"No. I…just came here to think."_

A long pause.

_"Mara, can we talk?"_

She was still sitting stiffly in the chair, her hands clenched around the armrests as if braced for impact. After a few seconds, her startled-slow mind registered the request. She reached out with the Force to answer him, but couldn't think of anything to say.

So, taking a deep breath Mara did the only thing she could do. She pried her fingers from the armrest, lowered the ramp, and let him in.

End of Part 6

(To be concluded—except for the epilogue—in Part Seven)


	7. Chapter 7

Authors note: Wai yes! You can has an update!

So I notice it's been over a year since part 6. Um...my bad. It wasn't for lack of trying though. I put a lot of work into this chapter and while it's hard to say I'm 100 satisfied, I'm at that point where I've been living with the chapter so long and coming up with lists of alternate scenes the only way for me to be 100 satisfied would be to post about seven different versions of this chapter and...no way. Just no way. Another reason for the wait was a hard year of school, where I had to focus on my non-fanfic writing which took up most of my attention. I didn't want my fanfic to start sounding like my senior project novella, so I needed some distance from school before I could really work on my fic. I want to give a big gigantic chocolate covered thank you to Ginchy for being my beta and helping me come down from my ultra obsessive sentence by sentence editing frenzy so I could finally stop second guessing myself. I hope everyone will find this chapter worth the wait.

Part 7

--

Leia was the public speaker of the family. Concise and inspiring, her speeches had a matter-o-fact eloquence to them. No matter how the newsfeeds tried to spin her words, the majority of Leia's audience would always see her for what she was: fair and dedicated, impartial when need be without sacrificing her passion. Luke had always believed Leia's political success came from her ability to project the kind of woman she was into words, to let her listeners feel they knew her so they could share the faith in her that her friends felt.

Han was the fast talker. Their clan's persuasive one. He was never short of a response, never failed to get a reaction, and could get practically anyone's guard down for at least a moment (and a moment was all he needed). He was practical, a realist, and it showed in his manner of speaking—even through the sarcasm and occasional cursing. Han's checkered past gave him his well deserved reputation as a great liar, and even though the entire galaxy knew this of him, when Han Solo felt like it he could make people listen, and even believe what he said based on the sheer reasonability in his presentation.

Perhaps he didn't always succeed (he couldn't talk away from Jabba or Boba Fett) but even when his mouth failed to persuade, it still served him well. His opponents didn't tend to think such a fast talker could have so much action in him, but Han always proved them wrong.

And then there was Luke.

Luke knew how he talked—he said what he felt, usually at the time he felt it. Sometimes he could hold this impulse in check long enough to choose his words, to sort them as nicely as he could manage, present them with dignity and poise. He did this for the occasional prepared speeches he had to give, but most often in his teaching, where he knew he needed to get his message across as clearly as possible. The Force was a difficult thing to learn about, confusing at times, and Luke didn't want to confuse his students further by fumbling through a lesson.

Mara had accused him of letting the teacher in him take over his own personality. She wasn't the only one to say this, come to think of it. Han joked about it all the time.

But when that part of him was pushed aside, accidents sometimes happened. Slipups, like at the dinner party, where Luke let his feelings react with his mouth instead of his brain.

Now Luke Skywalker was standing in the entryway of a hangar, eyes on the _Jade's Fire. _He had no doubt Mara would return to her ship soon, and he needed to talk to her and fix this mess he'd made. He knew what he wanted: he wanted Mara Jade to forgive him for shaking her privacy, to promise they were still friends, to promise that loving her hadn't cost him his small place in her life. He wanted to know he hadn't lost her.

The only problem was he didn't know how to say what he wanted. Over and over he'd tried to plan the confrontation, to at least come up with a suitable greeting if not a fullblown speech, but so far he'd come up empty. Where to start? "I'm sorry I embarrassed you in public" ,"I'm sorry I made you choke on your food", "Don't shoot me" –all these felt like pretty feeble hellos.

Luke closed his eyes, inhaled deeply. He tried to breathe out the fear and replace it with determination, as Yoda had taught him so long ago. Han's scolding from the night before came back to him: _"This is not the attitude that got your sister out of the Death Star." _The old pirate was right, he'd get nowhere at all if he only focused on potential failure. And he would not fail Mara. Not her.

His all-night meditation had left him groggy but centered. Now Luke reached out with feelings and Force to reclaim that calm, diving into it. He refreshed himself with the sensation of balance—something he hadn't truly experienced for a long time, not since he'd begun twisting his emotions and trying to wedge them into a person he wasn't. It had been difficult to find those knots within himself, but now that he knew where they were, he could undo them.

His nervousness wasn't cured, certainly not, but at least it was diminished to a reasonable size. He expected that peace with Mara Jade would be harder won than peace within himself, but the reward was more than worth the trial. _'I can do this,' _Luke thought, and finally felt his own belief in the words.

Opening his eyes again, Luke was about to step through the arch toward the _Fire _when a voice surprised him mid-step.

"Luke!" Wedge called. He turned to see his friend making his way up the hall towards him, Han just behind. Luke barely had time to muse on how he hadn't sensed them coming before the two were upon him.

"Glad to see you here," Wedge beamed. Luke read between the lines and mentally added _'And not still moping in your apartment.'_

"Good morning to you too," he said.

"Hey, don't mind us, kid," Han said, putting on his 'innocent Corellian' face. "I was just on my way to work on the _Falcon_ when I ran into Wedge here and—"

"You're doing repairs at this hour?" Luke's eyebrows arched and Han played offended.

"Just what are you implying? You know I've always been a morning person."

Wedge rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, common knowledge, that," he said. "I, on the other hand, have legitimate business here. Leia asked me to make sure no reporters could get in this bay, and since Lando's little press release I figured I'd better come down and make sure the media hasn't chased poor Jade," –Han snorted at this—"off the planet before you two could talk."

Luke pushed back his irritation at their blatant spying attempts. They meant well, after all, but he didn't want to think about them trying to talk to Mara on his behalf. Instead, his brain hooked onto something Wedge had said. "Lando? What's Lando telling the press?"

Han's expression grew a little smug as Wedge jumped to give the news. "You haven't seen it yet? That's the most entertainment I've gotten from the holonet since smashball season ended; Lando sure knows how work those reporters."

"But what did he say?"

"He said you're clear for landing, Rogue Leader," Wedge slapped him on the arm. Luke started to wonder if he was still a little drunk from last night. "He's backed off."

"Lando in front of a cam is a work of art," Han grinned. "You wouldn't think he could get the topic off you and Jade with the reporters so set on it, but he did. He opened up saying flat out that he and Mara are good friends but just friends and, well, he seemed pretty eager for the ladies of the universe to know that he's single and they have nothing to fear from a jealous ex-assassin."

"And from there the interview was fifteen straight minutes on the virtues of Lando," Wedge laughed. "I don't know how he did it, but he turned the story from 'love triangle of the decade' to 'why is this incredibly eligible man still single?' None of the reporters could shake him off it. Not even Zika Tresh."

Luke couldn't help grin. "I'm not sure if that's art, but it's definitely a talent."

Han cleared his throat. "So now that Lando's stepped down, you _are _going to go for it with Mara, aren't you?" he asked.

Luke exhaled through his teeth. "Right now I'm focused on getting her to forgive me for putting her through a media circus," he said.

"Yeah, but—"

"Trying to rush Mara never gets anywhere," he said, and ignored the look of frustration on both his friends' faces. Luke realized now that his constant pushing of Jedi training had only made her angry with him, and no closer to Knighthood. He didn't want to make the same sort of mistake again. "If anything happens, it'll happen in its own time."

"You don't have to rush. Just don't, you know, _stand still_," Wedge said, exasperation starting to edge in on his good mood. "Back me up here, Han."

Han didn't seem to be listening. His eyes were fixed across the hangar. "Whatever you're going to do, better do it fast," he said, nodding at the hangar's other set of doors. "There she blows."

Luke snapped to attention, his Force sense sparking as Mara strode into the bay. Wedge—and Luke was now certain he was still drunk—went stiff and did a ridiculous leap behind the arch of the entryway. Han and Luke didn't bother, knowing full well that if Mara was paying attention she'd have sensed all three of them by now. But it seemed that her mind was occupied, and Luke sensed she was focusing the Force on her shields rather than on detecting loitering pilots. She made a beeline for the _Jade's Fire _and did not look in the boys' direction once.

Mara's stride was long, and Luke's stomach twisted as he saw how she walked with purpose. It didn't look like the walk of someone coming home to relax after a long night, but of someone ready to blast off planet and fast. When she entered her ship, the ramp was closing again before it had a chance to open completely. He had to act. Now.

Summoning his courage (and for some reason remembering the campaign against the first Death Star) Luke headed for the _Fire. _For a moment he just stood there beside the ship, comlink in hand, trying to decide if calling her ship or talking to her through the Force was more polite. And then something happened that he did not expect.

Still tucked inside her ship, Mara's mental shields were lowering. Hesitantly at first, slowly, just enough… Her mind was reaching out to the Force, brushing lightly against everything around her. Everything, including him, and Luke instinctively returned the gesture.

He sensed her surprise on finding him so close, and Luke took advantage of the opening to ask, _"Are you leaving?" _

Again, a flicker of surprise. _"No, I…just came here to think," _she replied slowly.

Luke let out the breath he'd been holding and the knot in his stomach eased just a little. She wasn't running, she hadn't told him to buzz off or get out of her head. These had to be good signs, didn't they? There was only one way to find out. Luke took another long breath. _"Mara, can we talk?"_

The hangar and the Force were quiet for a long, agonizing moment. And then the ramp of the _Fire _smoothly lowered down before him. Luke looked back the way he came. Wedge gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up. Han might have winked, but it was too far to tell. Then he was up the ramp and they were out of sight.

He found Mara seated in the pilot's chair, which was swiveled to face the doorway. She didn't get up, or even speak when he came into view. The expression on her face was unreadable, but mild somehow. It surprised and relieved him. He'd expected Mara to yell, perhaps throw her fist at him for sending her to the med center with the press on her heels. Luke hoped this wasn't some quiet, brooding anger that would burst to the surface when he least expected it. He couldn't get a read on her emotions. Something was churning behind her impeccable shields, but he couldn't define it.

Still, his danger sense hadn't flared yet, so he stepped forward into the room.

"Hi," Luke said, and immediately wanted to kick himself. _'Just hi?'_

Her eyebrows arched. "Good morning, Skywalker. Sleep well?"

Luke could have laughed, and perhaps he did a little, but he wasn't sure. "Didn't sleep at all, actually," he answered truthfully. "You?"

The corner of Mara's mouth twitched in a quick smirk. She made a "hm" sort of noise, and it was all the answer he got. Had she been in the med center all night? But she looked good, better than he did Luke was sure. They were both still wearing the same clothes from last night, but her red, semiformal tunic looked fresh from the closet. Luke suddenly worried he might have toast crumbs still clinging to his shirt.

"Listen, Mara, I'm sorry," he blurted.

She looked surprised, and a trace suspicious. "It's…okay," she said slowly, as if she'd had to choose her words very carefully.

"No, it's not."Taking a deep breath, Luke reined in his nerves, tried to regain his calm once more. It was harder than it usually was, and he realized that was because this wasn't quite the same as the pre-battle apprehension he was accustomed to banishing. This was good old fashion silk moths in the stomach nervousness, something no woman had caused in a very long time. "I'm sorry about ambushing you like that, and about what happened with the shrimp. Are you all right?"

"What?" Mara looked confused for a second. And relieved? "Oh! The toothpick, I almost forgot about that. No, I'm fine; the droid dissolved it in five minutes."

Luke blinked. She'd forgotten? What had she been doing all night to get that out of her mind? The shock must have gone to his face. Her eyes softened a little. "It's really okay," she said quickly, then looked away.

Neither of them seemed to know what to say next, and the air was suddenly thicker. Now that the ice was broken, everything previously left unsaid between them was flooding into the tiny cockpit. It wasn't just the shadow of last night, but of all the years they'd known each other looming overhead.

The silence stretched on, until Mara finally broke it with a loud sigh. She ran her hand through her hair, a few locks catching in her fingers to escape the loose braid, and finally looked up at him, square in the eye. A tired but intense look that held. "What happened last night, Luke?"

Emotions, memories, sensations…all immediately jumbled within him, insistent and eager to be recognized. He shifted, opening his mouth and then quickly closing it, unsure of how to word it all. His cheeks burned in the silence, but Mara's stare was patient. _'You're over thinking again,' _his better sense chastised. _'She's never cared about pretty words, just the truth.' _ He gave a rueful chuckle as with that realization, another one of those weights he hadn't known he'd been carrying lifted.

"Uncle Owen was right, I do have my head in the clouds," Luke said, shaking his head at his own behavior. Her brow knitted.

"I got so caught up in trying to be helpful, whether the Force told me to help or not. I thought if I could, I _should, _but really that can't always be the right answer, can it?" The question was rhetorical, but she nodded slightly when he stopped pacing and met her eyes. "I was trying to save the galaxy, and I forgot to live in it.

"I stay inside my head too long, but everyone else goes on about living their lives and…when I finally look around me again I guess I'm always a little surprised things aren't the way I left them. Leia and Han don't really seem older to me—neither do you—but I see how much their kids have grown and it hits me every time how much everyone keeps going when I'm not there and I'm missing it…" Luke realized his thoughts were jumbled and out of order, but he was determined to answer her question honestly, and this was how it came out. Mara sat absorbing it without question or sarcasm.

"So what happened last night was…I guess it was that last hit I needed to wake up. I looked at you last night and I realized that we felt…apart," he confessed. "We weren't where I used to think we'd be by now and, well, I missed you."

He met her eyes again. They were clouded with thought, but still brilliant, and slightly wide.

"Oh." Mara's voice was quiet. "And when you…"

"I didn't—I _don't _want to miss you anymore."

Her cheeks went from pink to bright red. She didn't even manage another "Oh", just a loud breath. She broke eye contact and turned her face toward the viewport. Luke forced himself to be still. This wasn't a signal of rejection; she needed a moment to sort through what he'd told her.

Mara's eyes were on the transparasteel, though she did not seem to be looking through it. The silence was long, and he nearly jumped when she broke it. "Your friends are still out there. Waiting for the results, I suppose."

Luke winced. Why couldn't Han and Wedge at least have the manners to wait for him out of sight of the _Fire_'s windows? "I'm sorry. They're just trying to be, um, supportive."

The corner of her lips quirked. "Ah. Cheerleading."

"What? No! Well," Luke fumbled for words, a sense of urgency creeping back up. "I promise, I'll get them to back off. Mara, I don't want you to feel like there's any pressure—I realize I was probably coming on too strong with all the Force training talk. If you don't feel ready then you should wait. _I _think you're ready to train, but—that's beside the point right now.

"Just please don't think I want to pressure you to do _anything_ that you don't want. You know how I feel about…you know how I feel. I won't crowd you about it."

Mara was quiet for a long moment. She stopped looking out the window and concentrated on the air over his shoulder.

"I was angry at you," she finally said.

He shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin. "Well I knew before coming in here I wasn't bound to be your favorite person this morning."

"No, I meant I've been angry at you." She did look him in the eye then. "For a while. Before last night," she confessed.

"You have?"

She nodded. "It wasn't the constant nagging to train that annoyed me, it was the way you treated me more like a recruit than a friend. _Especially_ right after that Byss mess. You got pretty obnoxious. Not rude exactly, but…up on your dais about being a Jedi. As though I was doing something wrong for liking the job I already have."

Luke bowed his head. He could see now why Mara had been so surprised to learn he loved her. The Emperor had cared nothing for her, just her skills, and he'd gone and put her Force abilities first.

"I never meant to make you feel that way, Mara," he said. He dropped to the floor in front of her chair, grasped her hands firmly. She stiffened, but didn't pull away.

Opening himself up in the Force, Luke attempted to show her how much he'd enjoyed training her, and enjoyed the bond that sprung between them when they did. He needed her to know she wasn't just another notch in his trainee belt—he'd certainly never think of any student that way, but Mara had always been a particularly special case. He wanted her to be a Jedi because he felt that was the right path for her. But he wanted to train her because, well, he liked spending time with her. "Your friendship has_ always_ been very important to me. It'll always come first."

Mara nodded. "I know," she said. "I realized pretty quick that you meant well, but your mind was just somewhere else and you weren't connecting the dots like you used to. I figured you were going through something, so I tried to cool down about it. Except that whenever you'd ask me to train, it stirred the coals back up and I'd be mad again." She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand. "You've been better about it lately, though."

"I'll keep it up then," he smiled back.

"And don't worry about Han and Wedge," Luke continued. "I've already told them that if anything ever happens between us it'll happen in its own time."

A strange look passed over her face, a thoughtful shadow, and for a moment Luke worried he'd said something that would undo all his progress.

"Interesting choice of words," she murmured after a beat.

Mara's mind was spinning. Her brain felt crowded as thoughts and feelings and ideas competed for attention. Something had surged within her at his words, hooking onto them and not letting go. The Force stirred around her, reminding her of…of everything, and she became acutely aware of the ache inside her chest. This ache had been stirring, making its presence known ever since Luke had revealed his feelings the night before. With the air quickly clearing between her and the Jedi Master, the love he had sent her—was still sending her—had grown warmer, brighter, and it was so hard not to reach for it.

That's what the ache was, she realized. This pounding inside her, calling out _'I want this, let go, I want this'. _

He talked about things happening in their own time, but Mara knew they were both well aware that sometimes nothing good happens if you don't make a move for the better. She'd tried that with her social life, thought the knowhow for making friends would come to her in its own time, but stopped trying to reach for it. That had nearly ended in a lonely mess.

The Force hummed around her, like words on the tip of her tongue. She could do it, couldn't she? Make that one last reach? Do or do not….

Mara tried to take a deep breath, but found it difficult to get her lungs working. She swallowed. "Listen, Luke," she said. "You aren't the only one who's been making bad choices. It's good that you gave me such a hell of a night, because it got me finally taking stock of things. I've been acting kind of—well, I've been acting pretty stupid," she admitted. "I didn't like that you made me angry, so I pushed you away instead of trying to talk to you. Well, I think I did try to talk to you but it probably ended in yelling. At this point I'm not even sure if I meant well or just wanted to vent. And I'm sorry."

She saw Luke open his mouth, but she barreled over the protest she could feel coming from him, babbling so fast she didn't even have time to hate herself for doing it.

"It wasn't just you. I pushed away anyone I could make an excuse for, and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just blinded myself to it like an idiot. The Emperor used to keep me isolated, so I'd just have him to count on. I finally get free, and I pull my life together, and what do I do with my success? Hide in my ship all the time," Mara pinched the bridge of her nose, exasperated. That last bit had been talking to herself as much as to him. "Why would I do that? It doesn't even make sense!"

Luke gently reclaimed her hands and squeezed them reassuringly. "I wouldn't say that, Mara. It's normal to cling to the familiar, and easier than taking a chance on something that may or may not make you happy." He was suddenly remembering how he'd hated Tattooine for being a nowhere planet, and then he'd gone and settled in on a moon that didn't even have any towns. How much of that decision had been for the Academy, and how much had it been for him? "I can understand why you did it."

Mara snorted, mostly at herself, but her lips fought a grin. His eyes were so open, so unguarded staring into hers. Force, when he was like this, he was almost too easy to talk to. It used to frustrate her, how he could draw out her secrets so easily. She didn't like to bear her soul to anyone, let alone someone who kept disappearing into a stilted persona of a Jedi Master. She'd always kept tight control of herself around him so she wouldn't slip. But that was then. Right now, her heart clenching as she looked at him, she wanted to tell him everything. His Force presence was strong, bold, and grounded in the moment. Gone was the single-minded focus on a tangled path, the self-erected fog that had surrounded him after Byss and during the early days of Yavin. The Luke of Myrkr, of Wayland, of sunset on Coruscant was back and _Force _she'd been waiting too long for him.

His hands were still holding hers, so she turned her palms so she could grasp his tightly. "What you have to understand about me is—I hate not knowing what I'm doing. I _hate _it. I was trained to be an expert at anything I did, but I wasn't trained for anything like…I mean, you _can't _train for…" Mara was speaking in a rush, babbling again as she struggled to get her point across. In the back of her mind, she marveled at the way language was failing her now of all times, after so many years of reliability. She felt her whole body blush, and she tried to continue in a voice she recognized as her own.

"When I failed the Emperor…it hurt. It was almost too much; it really felt like too much at the time, like there couldn't be anything worse," Mara said, hoping desperately that her point was coming across as she remembered what it was like when Palpatine died. Her whole life destroyed, and nobody to blame but herself for not killing Luke Skywalker. "I know it was a good thing I failed him. I'm relieved that I did. Now. But that doesn't change what it felt like back then and—and I don't know what I'm doing! If it was that bad to fail something that turned out to be so wrong, what's it going to feel like if I fail at…"

She clenched his fingers tighter under hers. "Force, Luke, _I miss you too_. But I don't know what I'm doing…"

Mara dropped his gaze. She felt drained from her full confession and too raw to meet his eyes.

Luke was still reeling. Mara was always so careful when she chose to express herself; her sudden speech had caught him off guard and he had to work through his surprise to catch up with her words. "You're afraid you're going to fail _us?_" he realized. She didn't answer. Still stunned, he reached out for her in the Force.

Her shields were wavering in her uncertainty, but between them Luke felt the bond they'd formed so long ago returning. He marveled at its endless potential.

"That's impossible, Mara," he said. He loosed one of his hands from their joined grip and used it to cup her cheek. It was that impulsive side moving for him, Luke would later admit. If he'd stopped for a second to think, he'd have realized how oddly close they already were, and probably wouldn't have tried his luck further. But he wasn't thinking about Mara's barriers or her temper. He was only thinking of trying to reassure her, and so before she could react, he'd leaned up and kissed her soundly on the lips.

Luke's mind was a step behind his action, and the full effect didn't hit him until her lips were moving sweetly against his. He was kissing Mara Jade! How had he managed it? It didn't matter because he was flying now. She was soft, petite, but so incredibly strong under his hands. The starlines of hyperspace rushed through his bloodstream as he pulled her closer.

Mara had frozen in surprise when he kissed her, but it was the only reaction she managed. For a moment, all she knew was that his lips were warm and softer than she'd thought they would be. Then it was too good not to kiss back.

The kiss was intense, mouths open, hands clutching at clothes and stroking skin. She didn't want to breathe, just to taste him. Mara could feel his Force sense, flowing through cracks in her quickly failing shields. She felt it all—the lust of course, but before that his love for her, brighter and freer than ever, his faith in her, his faith in them. She could feel Luke's optimism, warm and addictive, start replace her fears.

Then her brain caught up and Mara pulled back from his lips just enough to catch her breath and ask, "Why?"

"What?" Luke was panting too, and Mara realized they were on the floor now, she in his lap, his cloak tangling their legs.

"Why me?" she asked again. She couldn't help but notice that he looked a little dazed. And happy. Force, she'd made him that happy?

Luke removed his hand from its place on the back of her neck, running a lock of hair through his fingers as he did. He gave the curl a little tug to urge her closer still. "Why not you?" he countered.

She smirked, although he probably couldn't see it. "I can think of a few reasons."

"You know? I can't think of _one," _Luke said, brushing his lips against hers again. And again, until she could barely hold back a laugh. The next time he tried, she dodged his lips and Luke's mouth landed happily against her collarbone.

"Cranky, antisocial, former assassin…" she listed, and felt him smile against her neck.

"Part of your charm," he said, and Luke lifted his head up to smile at her. His hair was mussed—had she done that?

How did he manage to look so handsome while giving her such a goofy look from behind those overgrown bangs? Mara couldn't hold it back anymore. She laughed—giggled, perhaps, though she'd saber herself before admitting it. "Sometimes I just don't understand you."

His eyes grew serious for a moment, though she still saw his smile in their color. "And the rest of the time you're the only one who does."

"Flatterer," Mara sighed, shaking her head. "How would you know?"

"I feel it," Luke said. "In the way you bring out the best in me."

The complement, so serious, so earnest—such a _Luke _thing to say—sent a shiver down her spine that was somehow both pleasurable and frightening. So many feelings, so much depth, all ready here at the very start. Mara remembered her talk from Corran, how she'd argued that Luke could never do things by halfs.

Then she remembered her train of thought before Luke had shown up. She'd been trying to figure out what she wanted…

Her decision made, Mara wound her arms around Luke's shoulders and rested her forehead against his. "Sounds as if you want to date me, Skywalker."

"I do," he said. And he pulled her close again for another long kiss.

--

"Fifty credits, he let her slap him in the face," Wedge said, eyeing the _Jade's Fire _from across the hangar. Its ramp was still down, but there was a suspicious lack of yelling coming from the ship.

"What? You're crazy," Han shook his head.

"No, no, no, think about it!" the Rogue Leader insisted. "Jade's gotta blow off steam somehow, right? I didn't hear any shouting, so that means it got physical. Didn't hear any crashing, so Luke let her get a hit in."

"I mean you're crazy if you think Mara _slaps," _Han said. "Mara Jade punches. She kicks. She shoots. Mara Jade does not slap; slapping doesn't break bones. She wouldn't waste time on it. Besides, she's one of the few who doesn't need Luke to let her get a hit in."

"So what do you think's happening then?"

Han made a show of shrugging nonchalantly. "Either they're having a nice and civilized conversation like two reasonable adults, or they're sitting in there staring at their boots and not talking like a couple of children," he said sagely.

Wedge stroked his moustache. "He's been in there a really long time. This is either going very well or very bad."

"Leia saw Luke this morning. She seemed optomistic," Han put in. "And Karrde said he didn't think Mara was angry last night."

"But that's last night. Mirax wouldn't tell me what the situation was this morning," Wedge groused. Stroking his moustache, he thought about how after Luke came out of the ship and things were settled, he could dangle the results over Missus Terrik-Horn's cheeky little head. "We should get closer to the ramp."

Han laughed. "Be my guest!" he said. Baiting Mara Jade was a dangerous thing. Certainly there was great potential for fun in it, but a man had to pick his moments.

Wedge started forward, but stopped when he noticed Han really was not going to follow. "He's your brother-in-law."

"And it's your funeral if you get caught."

"You're getting old, Solo! You can't tell me you aren't curious."

"Hey, I'll have you know that patience, which I happen to have in abundance, is a virtue that—_woah!_"

Without warning, the _Fire_'s engines flared to life. With a burst of hot wind, the ship was in the air. The ramp was still closing as it rose, and by the time it was shut, the _Fire _had cleared the bay, soaring up through Coruscant traffic and quickly out of sight.

--

Luke, strapped into the copilot's chair, was still laughing as the Han and Wedge's shock faded into greater life-noise of the planet. "You realize they're going to go crazy wondering what's going on with us."

"Oh, let 'em stew in it," Mara smirked, taking her ship higher, through the atmosphere into space. Soon they'd be out of com range. They were leaving a lot of curious people behind, but she wasn't sorry. She and Luke would never get things truly sorted between them if they couldn't find a moment to themselves.

Uninterrupted time was what they needed. Neither one of them wanted to deal with Han and Wedge in their way if they left the ship (not to mention everyone else). There would be too many questions; questions they couldn't answer as there was still so much to talk about on their own…

Since they were already in a ship, Mara had figured they might as well take advantage of it and find some privacy. So they would have their date on one of the neighboring planets, just the two of them. No press, no well meaning friends or family, just Luke and Mara.

And then they would come back.

Mara knew the press would be revived once they found out she'd left planet and the Jedi Master was mysteriously missing. Whatever their relationship turned out to be, there was no keeping it private. Surprisingly, she was okay with this. Mara was done with running, and she decided that whatever trouble they'd face would be worth it for having this time to themselves now. And besides, she did owe Mirax the story.

The computer beeped as the coordinates set, and Mara pulled down the hyperdrive lever. The stars became starlines, and the starlines became a vortex of light. Luke took her hand off the lever and held it in his.

He was grinning at her, probably thinking about how they were acting like a couple of teenagers sneaking away for a clandestine moment alone. She blushed—it was still so new—but returned the smile.

Earlier, as Luke held her, Mara had asked herself what she wanted. The answer had come in startlingly clear—she wanted more of these moments. This total acceptance, this faith in themselves, this warmth wrapped around her both in body and in the Force. She wanted him to always be a part of her life. She didn't want to go back to the way things had been. She wanted to go forward.

It was amazing, once the path was clear, how simple it looked.

Yes, this was living.

-

The End! (Epilogue coming soon)


End file.
